Thursday, April 30, 2009

Scared to Share Any Good News

Well, will admit I am a bit afraid to admit that there is anything positive going on out of fear that something negative will happen as soon as I post it, but also want to make sure that I am giving God the glory for every miracle He does...that being said, here is the latest update.

Keaton is still in his little closet, or his suite as his daddy calls it. Kyle says we should consider it a blessing he gets his own room since that is what we would want. hahaha. Good way to look at it I suppose.

He has gained a few pounds. Was up two ounces yesterday and another today, so is now 3 lb 8 oz. This is really good since he was on a little bit of a pause there for weight gain.

Entered the NICU this evening and nurse informed me both babies are going to start breast feeding twice a day now. This is a huge step forward. They will both still be fed through the tube in their noses to make sure they get their full feedings, but if I was still pregnant they would be at 33 weeks, so this is the time they develope sucking/breathing/swallowing. Keaton can take a bottle or the breast while McKenna will be strictly breast for the start.

So tonight Keaton got his first bottle. He did GREAT! He drank 10 ml (out of 30 ml feeding) in about 30 minutes. It is a lot of work for them to eat and stay warm and we are told that it will most likely make them lose weight at the beginning because they burn so many calories while doing it, but this is one of the steps they have to complete to go home - eating full feedings and gaining weight consistantly.

McKenna was really vocal today. Went for an afternoon visit to find a couple nurses standing around her trying to calm her. They apparently didn't realize that she hates a dirty diaper and will scream until you change it and giver her the binky. As soon as they did those two things she calmed down, for the most part.

The IV in her arm went out, so they had to replace it. Yes, this is the IV they just put in two days ago. Took them three attempts tonight before they were able to get it in a vein. Poor girl. She did so good though and only screamed once. Of course, they gave her sugar water on her Binky and that calmed her.

Once she is back to full feedings (20 ml) she will no longer need an IV, so we are really looking forward to that. We need this one to last her at least 27 more hours (time of last feeding that will require her to get fluids still).

Yesterday she had gained 5 oz and was up to 2 lb 11 oz. Tonight she lost 2 oz and is down to 2 lb 9 oz and is expected to lose a little more. The main reason for the weight gain was the blood transfusion. It made McKenna's body swell a little bit. But you can really tell in her face that she is gaining weight. Can hardly recognize her as the little girl she was three weeks ago. We are so grateful for the weight gain and praying it continues.

As always, thanks for the prayers, and please let us know if we can pray any specifics for you! You are all in our prayers and we look forward to sharing with you continued progress.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

No Huge Updates

Not really any updates to give. The past twenty four hours have been rather draining on us. We are grateful for all the prayers and support that you all have given. Thank you! They are needed, and they are felt!

Went to visit babies last night and saw Keaton in his tiny little room all by himself. It is basically a closet with a sink. Room in there only for his incubator and one chair. Lighting options are dim light so he thinks it is night 24/7 or extremely bright light that is too bright for him to open his eyes. We have to scrub our hands/arms, then put on a disposable plastic gown and gloves before entering the room and we have to rescrub before leaving the room.

We can touch him, but it is with our plastic gloves, so that means for a minimum of three weeks he will not have any skin to skin touch, even by hands. My heart breaks for him thinking how important that is, and that he is not going to get it. Was somewhat comforted that we can hold him, although it is with our plastic gowns and plastic gloves, so that can't be very comforting to him? It certainly is better though than not being able to hold him at all.

He remained the same weight last night and has really not gained weight for almost a week. His weight has fluctuated back and forth for the past week, and he is at maximum amount of feedings for his weight, so we really need to pray for weight gain when praying for the healing of this infection.

Keaton seems to be a little fussier today too. Hope this isn't a sign of a cold or anything. Nurses said he was screaming when they moved his incubator to the isolation room. I like to think it was him complaining about being taken away from McKenna. And he was pretty mad this morning when they put the blood pressure cuff on his leg, or moved him. Glad to see he has a little spunk.

McKenna's blood transfusion was finished around three this morning. She was nice and pink this morning. Her count is still lower than average for preemies, but apparently not low enough to give her more blood at this point. We are hoping she will begin producing the blood on her own from here on out, but that would be a miracle. They are still too young to produce their own blood.

Doctor has increased her feedings again tonight, so rather than the 1/2 ml every six hours, they will increase it by that amount every three hours. They don't think this is too fast to where it would cause problems again. Let's hope and pray not! At that rate, she should be back up to her 20 ml by Monday, I think. As they increase the breast milk, they will decrease the fats and protein intake, so that is good too. Once she is off that, she will not need the IVs, although they will keep them in her arm and foot until they no longer are working.

Please pray for weight gain, protection from viruses, overall health and growth, and protection from MRSA (what brother has).

Thanks again everyone!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Difficult Day of Bad News

Seriously I think there must be some type of rule that if you are positive and say anything is going right with your babies something negative is bound to happen. What a difficult afternoon!

We'll start with McKenna...she has done well with her 3 ml every six hours so they increased it to every three hours this morning, and this evening will begin increasing quantity by 1/2 ml every six hours. This is a slow start to reintroducing food, so hopefully it is slow enough to prevent another infection to her gut. We are hoping the breast milk, even though a small amount, along with the IV fluids will help her gain weight.

Her blood count is worse and she is "extremely animic" so they are starting her blood transfusion this afternoon. This is an eight hour process and she will have to have another IV put in her body to give her the transfusion. The one in her hand ended up popping out so they put a new one in her foot last night, but they will have to put in a second IV for the blood so she can stay on the fluids. Her body being as small as it is doesn't seem to take the IVs very well because they keep going bad every couple days and she really throws a fit getting new ones. Who can blame her?

We finally got the results from the brain scan and it appears that McKenna has "irregularity in the germenalmatrix". This means that she has a small amount of blood that is similar to a bruise. It should go away on its own, but they will do scans weekly to make sure that ventricles don't get bigger and that the blood goes away.

Please pray her transfusion goes as planned and she doesn't get any infections from it, that the blood on the brain goes away and that her body continues to digest the food and accepts higher quantity. Please also continue praying for overall health, weight gain and that she stays free of infections.

Poor Keaton...he was doing so well and apparently I was too positive about his health because today we found out he has MRSA which is basically a staff infection. It is not in his body, rather on the outside, so it can't be treated with antibiotics. However, due to the type of infection, they are moving him to isolation. He will be there until he gets three negative test results. They will test him only once a week. So that means he will be in isolation at least three weeks, if not longer.

My heart breaks for Keaton because I just keep thinking about him in a little isolation room by himself or with other sick babies and how lonely that is going to be. I already worry about the babies feeling all alone all day, and this is for sure a step back. He was finally by his sister and even though he couldn't see/hear or even know she was there by him, it was comforting for us that they were closer. Hopefully he will be okay in isolation.

We will still be able to visit him, but we will have to wear gowns and gloves and all that to see him. The poor little guy. We are grateful it is not in his body, but so sad for him still about being moved.

Keaton had two heart drops today. This is not abnormal for being preemies. McKenna has several a day. However, Keaton hasn't had these in over a week, so we are a little worried about that. Hoping that he will be okay and trusting with time they will go completely away.

On a positive note, Keaton did not have any bleeding on the brain and we are very grateful for that! And he is still doing well with his feedings - one ounce every three hours with 4 calories added.

Please pray for heart drops to go away, for continued progress on feedings, for weight gain and overall health. Pray for this infection to go away immediately and that he wouldn't have to be in isolation one day longer than necessary. And, that he would be protected from any future infections or diseases.

Thanks everyone for your prayers. They sure do need them!!!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Food Finally

After an afternoon review with the doctor, we were told that they were going to take the tube out of McKenna's mouth but she still wasn't going to get food. Our hearts broke at the thought of yet ANOTHER day of her not eating and feeling hunger pains.

Then, this evening we went in and one of our favorite nurses, Ms Valorie, told us that McKenna was sucking the Binky so hard she told the doctor that McKenna needed food. The doctor listened. Yes, we were amazed too.

They are starting her out at only 3 ml (1/10 oz) of breast milk every six hours. If she tolerates this for a while they will switch it to every three hours most likely before increasing the quantity. Even thought it's not a lot of food, it's something and we are so grateful!!!

We were disappointed to see she is down to 2 lb 4 oz, meaning she lost 4 oz over night. Hopefully getting back on breast milk, even though it's not much, will help her gain back some weight. She is now 15" long.

Keaton is doing good today. He was alert and looking around throughout our visit and I got to read him The Velveteen Rabbit. If you haven't read it, I am going to go ahead and suggest ahead of time you request a short version of the children's book. Man is it long! It put him back to sleep by the time we were half way through.

Keaton is still at 3 lb 5 oz and once again has shrank...measured in at 16 1/4" now. Curious to see how much shorter he will get or when he will start growing according to the nurses by the time he leaves NICU.

Miracle Weight Gain

Wow, we were so excited last night to see McKenna is now up to 2 lb 8 oz. We thought for sure being off the breast milk and only on fats and protein she would lose weight. We were wrong. a 2 oz weight gain...that's huge! Thank you, Jesus!

Kyle and I struggled last night as McKenna continually cried and nothing seemed to sooth her. the minute she calmed down she started would start back up and her cry sounded so painful with the thick tube in her mouth. Poor girl! Also, looked like the new IV they put in her hand the day before had already fallen out so she was in pain.

They plan to take her blood count this morning to see if she needs the transfusion yet. Hoping getting one will strengthen her and help decrease her apnea (breathing) spells. They will also be doing another x-ray and if all looks well they will slowly start giving her breast milk again. That would be so great.

Please join us in prayer that the infections is completely gone, that McKenna can get back on breast milk, that it helps strengthen her and help her grow, that if she needs a transfusion the doctors have wisdom when to give it and that she receives the best and healthiest stuff, that she will only need one transfusion, that she learns to calm down and the nurses and her parents learn best way to help her, and that she would grow to be a healthy and bright girl.

As for Keaton, still just "kickin' it". Mr Calm had a great day. Gained a few grams but remains at 3 lb 4 oz. We think he is just allowing McKenna to catch up. What a sweet brother - they are only 12 oz difference in weight.

Please continue to pray protection for him from infections or viruses and overall health and well being.

As always, thanks everyone for your love, support and prayers. Not sure how anyone could make it through something like this without all the prayers and encouragement!!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Keaton's Growing, McKenna Still Needs Prayer

Keaton is doing so well and we are so excited for him. He keeps going back and forth from 3 lb, 3 oz to 4 oz, but either of those is fine with us. He is growing and that is what is important.

He is now up to 30 ml of breast milk (an entire ounce) with 4 calories added which is usually the max amount of calories they will add for a baby his size.

Keaton is often alert, looking around and responsive to noise. He sleeps with his hands on his face or arms up by his head. It's so precious. He has a very mellow personality so far and all the nurses comment on how laid back he is compared to McKenna.

Seems that one of Keaton's favorite things to do is go the bathroom all over the nurses, or all over his bed. And last night while hold him he was sure to spit up all over himself and his mommy's sweater. Poor guy.

All the nurses comment on how fiesty McKenna is and how she is in control. They also comment on how many people tell them she is so cute. She loves to suck her Binky and that is the only thing that seems to calm her, or her mommy's voice which is not always available. They also say she hates having a dirty diaper and the second it is dirty you can hear her screaming from the other side of the room. That's my girl...just like her daddy...hates the idea of a mess.

McKenna was very alert yesterday and responsive. However, the IV in her arm fell out of place so they had to remove that and replace it in her hand on the other side. She SCREAMED and cried so hard that she stopped breathing when they were removing the IV and tape/board holding the old one in place. It was so hard to watch that Kyle and I ended up leaving the room until they were completely finished. Felt bad abandoning her, but man, to see your baby so scared and hurting and you can't do anything?

The nurses thought McKenna looked better yesterday. She still looks extremely pale to Kyle and me. But her stomach didn't have as many loops in it which is a great thing.

They are still planning on holding off her feedings for another 6 days or so (it has already been four) although we are praying that will change. She appears very hungry and sucks on her Binky really hard around her normal feeding times and when doing oral care she gulps on the tiny drop of water that is on the sponge. It's so sad to watch.

Apparently she does have the infection they have been looking for, but she just has the "suspected" level. Hoping and praying that it doesn't get worse and that they caught it early enough to completely fight it and help her get big and strong.

Thanks everyone for your prayers, love, support, and encouraging words. You are all such a blessing and our babies will look back at all your comments and prayers and see how loved they are.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Teeter Totter

While things weren't great this afternoon, we were hopeful that things were improving. Tonight reality seemed to hit us again.

They have put McKenna on antibiotics to fight infection. While the x-rays and blood work are not showing she has an infection, they would prefer to start the antibiotics now rather than later just incase the testing in the next few days does come back that she has one.

She is still not receiving breast milk and the doctor suspects it will be 7-10 days before she receives this type of feedings again. This could change on a day to day basis, depending on results of daily tests. Until then, she will begin receiving fats and proteins via IV (they started these tonight) but the nurses and doctor said she will be fussy because she is now use to eating and her tummy tells her she is hungry. The fact she is receiving these rather than breast milk means she will most likely have to have the Pick Line (IV Cathiter that goes by hear heart) put back in. Yesterday she was up to 2 lb 6 oz and tonight she lost grams that took her back down to 2 lb 5 oz.

X-rays they are still planning on doing a few a day. These are risky for anyone, but especially for preemies as their bodies struggle with that much radiation. They won't do more than they have to, but they are necessary currently to make sure that the bowels are operating normal.

Her first blood transfusion (and praying it's the only one) will most likely take place within the next week. This is based on her skin color, blood count and a few other things.

Obviously we are very worried about our little girl and truly appreciate every prayer lifted. Please don't stop praying! Love you guys!

Still No Answers

Thank you everyone for your prayers! We basically are still in the dark as to what is going on.

Keaton had a bit more color today and they won't be doing his blood count again until some time next week. So for now, he is in the clear for blood transfusion. As for his stomach, two doctors looked at it (one last night, one today) and both seem to think it is okay. So we are very grateful for that news and that he will be able to continue his feedings and progressing.

McKenna's blood counts came back same as yesterday, so we have dodged a transfusion for at least one or two more days. They will do another count in a few days to see how she is doing.

Blood work yesterday, this morning and this afternoon, along with three x-rays have shown that it isn't an infection...however, they are not done testing. They will do more blood work tonight, tomorrow morning and tomorrow afternoon for further testing for infection. They will also do another x-ray tomorrow morning and tomorrow afternoon. That is a LOT of x-rays which makes her mommy nervous, but they say that is the only way to tell certain things and make sure her tummy is operating like it is suppose to.

She had 7 bowel movements last night from the suppository and hasn't had any today. Nurse said that helped her tummy look better, but apparently not good enough because again, they are still planning on more testings.

The thick cord down her throat has been replaced with a smaller cord which they will continue to use to remove air from her tummy. This is a good thing. The other tube she was gagging on. And they were able to remove the oxygen from her early this morning...another praise report.

She is still not able to eat. They are putting a hold on her feedings at least until after the results from tests tomorrow afternoon, if not longer. She will no doubt lose weight. It has already been over 24 hours since her last feeding.

It's nearly 6 pm and they still haven't done the scans on the babies' brains. They apparently do these whenever able? Should be done sometime tonight hopefully.

So, all that being said...McKenna is doing better if you look at it that she has smaller tube in throat, no oxygen and doesn't need transfusion today. She is in the same status though if you consider she still isn't being fed, is going to lose weight, will have a million more blood tests (Which can cause need for transfusion sooner since they don't produce blood this early), several more x-rays and still has to have a tube down her throat and the IV in her arm.

Please keep on praying for them both, but special prayers for McKenna tonight. We are on the edge of our seats waiting for results and good news. Appreciate you all!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Praying for a Miracle

Got the call this afternoon and the dreaded two steps back for every step forward is starting to take place.

McKenna has a distended stomach - basically around 5 pm tonight it started to look swollen or full of air. This is a sign of infection in the bowels so they did immediate x-rays and blood work, which currently are showing no infection, but it could take up to 12 hours to show if an infections is actually there. If it is an infection, they will treat her immediately with antibiotics, but this would be a very bad thing as it is the infection that causes bowels to die. So, we will have a long night, waiting by the phone and anxious to see the results and praying God has mercy and that she will be okay.

In the mean time, McKenna's feedings have been stopped. They put an IV back in her arm and are giving her sugar water, but she will not receive any breast milk until they know if she has an infection. Once they determine she can go back to her feedings, they will have to start her out slowly again, so that could be back at 1 ml, or 10 ml (she was up to 20 ml every three hours).

She has a thick tube down her throat to help remove some of the air in her tummy. They gave her a suppository to encourage her body to have bowel movement in hopes of releasing some more of the air in her belly. She is on oxygen (just the type that they put on her nose...not back on the C-PAP) to help her breathe and becuase her heart rate was up so high.

In addition to all of this, McKenna is REALLY pale. This is one of the first signs for needing a blood transfusion. They tested blood levels tonight and will test them again in the morning. If she needs the transfusion they will give it to her through the IV currently in her arm. We knew they would need transfusions eventually, but it is rather scary now that the time is here.

Please pray for God's mercy and intercesion on behalf of McKenna. And for a miracle, and that it is just air in her tummy that they can remove.

As for Keaton, his tummy has been looking bloated lately. We have mentioned it several times to the nurses and they all say that he isn't showing any signs of bowel problems. However, McKenna's only sign that she might have an infection was the swelling. The nurse will ahve the doctor look at his stomach tonight. His ribs look painfully pushed out to the sides too, and he is looking more pale than usual, so nurse will also be talking to the doctor about getting his blood counts to see if he needs a transfusion.

Please pray that the doctor has wisdom in what to do to help both babies.

We are worried about our little twins and praying for a miracle!!! Thank you everyone who is standing in prayer with us!

Gaining Weight

We were so excited to walk into the NICU last night and see both babies had the Pick Lines out. Those were the IV Cathiters put in their legs that went up by their hearts and were used for adding protein and fats to the diet. However, because they are doing so well with breast milk, they no longer need those proteins and fats and it was more dangerous for them to have the pick lines in and risk infection.

McKenna is currently getting 20 ml of breast milk with 4 calories added every three hours. She is digesting it well and remained at 2 lbs 5 oz last night, which is huge since they got the IV out. We were told that being removed would most likely cause weight loss.

Keaton has a few cuts on his leg where they removed the pick line. They had to tape them down to make sure they didn't move or come out, so when they removed the tape it some of his skin went with it. So sad! He gained two ounces yesterday and is up to 3 lb 4 oz. That is huge. He is back to being almost a pound heavier than McKenna and you can really tell the difference between them with their sizes. He is doing so well.

Please continue to pray as you have been, and especially pray for McKenna and her apnea (where she stops breathing). This is by far the hardest thing to watch. Also, please begin praying they get to go home at the same time, or around the same time. I am nervous one will go home and the other will be left alone in NICU.

Thanks everyone! We appreciate and love you all!!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Losing It

Our first family picture. Kyle is holding Keaton (who looks huge because he has three blankets swaddling him) and I am holding McKenna.

Keaton - He is so fun to watch and seems to change a little every day. He makes these faces where he looks so concerned and serious all the time. It's adorable.

He lost one ounce yesterday, which was to be expected since he had a five ounce weight gain the night before. We expect he will continue to lose an ounce or two the next couple nights as he has bowel movements or releases fluids. Nurses say this is completely normal and not something to worry about.

Keaton's tummy is pretty round and extended. It is cute because he is so tiny and his arms and legs are so skinny but then there is this huge belly. Nurses say that is just part of being a preemie, and also that it will go down when he loses the liquids.

Also, he lost a few cords yesterday. WOO HOO!!! Because he has not had any problems with his breathing for several days now, they took off the machine that told us if his heart or oxygen levels drop or stop. This is awesome to see this gone.

McKenna - She loves her sleep. Yesterday whie trying to read to her she was so still it scared me. I tried to get her to grab my hand or respond to touch but not a thing. Went away for thirty minutes and tried doing the same thing but still no response so I called the nurse over and she reassured me that was normal and nothing to worry about.

McKenna gained two ounces again last night. That is two nights with a two ounce weight gain, putting her up to 2 lbs 5 oz. Not sure you can completely tell the weight gain, but I think she does look a little less boney in the rib area. And, while putting the lotion on her chest this morning I couldn't feel her rib cage as much, so that was really comforting. While Keaton is losing weight, McKenna is gaining it.

McKenna still has all her tubes, cords, wires and machines. She has several episodes throughout the day/night where her heart rate and oxygen levels drop, and the nurses expect that will last for several more weeks.

While kangarooing McKenna this morning she started snoring and her oxygen levels were dropping for short periods of time. Nurse came over and suctioned her throat out with a tube. Poor girl! But it seemed to really help. Apparently they get gunk stuck in the back of their throat occasionally.


Sweet McKenna...had the opportunity to Kangaroo hold her this morning for an hour and a half. What a joy it was and so comforting to be able to do that. Two days in a row now of being able to bond by holding her, and each time I get just as excited.

McKenna weighed 2 lb 3 oz tonight. That is HUGE! I can't believe she gained two ounces over night. She still needs a bowel movement though, so once she has that she is sure to lose a little. Even still, we are thrilled with the results. She was also measured (they measure them on Mondays) and measured at 14" inch longer than birth ten days ago. We are so excited to see her growing and look forward to continued progress.

McKenna is still really struggling to remember to breathe. This is perhaps the scariest part of her being so small...hearing the alarms and seeing her heart and oxygen rates ocmpletely drop. Happened once while I was holding her, a few times throughout the day when we weren't there, and then twice within a 15 minute period while we were there tonight.

Keaton, he is always so active and kicking and swinging his arms. Past couple days though he has been sleeping a lot which the nurses say is because he is drinking so much breast milk. He has to be one of the cutest sleepers though. He sleeps with his hands on his face and makes the best little facial expressions.

Keaton's growth we don't understand. He was measured 18 1/2" when born, then 17 3/4" last Monday and then tonight measured 16 3/4". So, not really sure what his length is. Nurse reassured me he is not shrinking and she was going to remeasure him later tonight.

He is weighing in at 3 lb 3 oz. That means over night he had a 5 oz growth spirt? She measured him on two different scales so apparently the weight is correct, but she suspects he is just full of liquids or needs to have a bowel movement and once that happens he will lose quite a bit. His tummy looked very full and bloated tonight.

Keaton's bilirubin levels are back up, so they are putting him back on the lights, which means the goggles go back on. Our concern with this is that the goggles really don't fit him. The sizes they have are way too small so they don't cover his eyes, or too big so they cover his nose. Hoping they figure something out to keeps his eyes protected.

Prayers for Keaton - Bilirubin levels to go down. Continued bowel movements. Protection of eyes. Positive results from brain scan April 24 to determine if there is bleeding on the brain. Protection from viruses and diseases. Overall prayer of digestive system, brain, heart, mind, etc.

Prayers for McKenna - That her brain would trigger her body to continue to breathe and she would not have any more drops in heart rate or oxygen levels. That she would have great results June 24 with the brain scan and everything would be normal and there would not be brain bleeding. That God would protect her organs and body from viruses and diseases. That her digestive system would continue to operate and she would have bowel movements when needed.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Amazing Daddy

I am completely in awe and so impressed with Kyle and how he has totally stepped into the role of Daddy to our little babies. It is so exciting to watch him talking to the babies, and holding them, and just being incredible.

He goes over to Keaton's crib and will just repeat over and over, "KEATON, KEATON, KEATON" in a loud voice, trying to get him to wake up. And he calls him "Bud" and will tell him to grow. So precious.

For McKenna he calls her "Baby Girl" or "Little Lady" and will tell her to keep breathing and gain weight. So cute.

Extremely grateful for a husband that has stepped up to the plate and can't wait for the babies to get big enough to where he is comfortable holding them more, and excited to see them interact with their daddy.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Wow, Can Someone Say Lactating?

Went to visit babies this morning and because nurse told us yesterday we can start holding McKenna daily after a feeding, i was sure to quickly ask if it would be possible to do so this morning instead of waiting until this afternoon and not being able to. She said yes. I could hardly wait.

Luckily I wore my button up sweater this morning, so I didn't have to sit there naked from the waist up to kangaroo her. However, As soon as I took my bra off and slid my tank top down under my sweater I could feel my breasts leaking the milk. No biggie though, I thought. I can wait because next feeding/pumping wasn't suppose to be for another hour.

So the nurse tucked baby McKenna into my sweater, threw some hot blankets on top of her and left us for an hour to bond. Oh my...I loved it. I could hear her breathing, see her little head bobbing with each breath, and she kept doing the tiniest little snore. So precious.

So as I am sitting there, about thirty minutes into it, I start to feel the sides of my sweater getting wet. Oh no...the leaking has continued, and continued for the next hour. My sweat was literally soaked on the sides, so rather than concentrating on how precious my little girl was and how excited I was to hold her, I was thinking about how wet my sweater was and how I wish I had a bottle to hold up to each boob because I was losing precious milk to feed my babies.

An hour and a half into holding McKenna (with her only having one heart desiliration) the nurse came to check on me. I felt awful sending her back into her incubator and wish I could have held her for another hour and a half, but my milk supply had a different plan. So, hesitantly I asked her to take McKenna back and I walked into the nursing/pumping room with tears in my eyes that I couldn't hold her longer but grateful I got to hold her at all.

Hoping tonight they will let me hold Keaton. I go through withdrawls if I am away from the babies more than a few hours, and now that I have held them both I am even more attached, but feel so guilty if I hold one and not the other. If I can't hold him tonight, hoping they will at least let me tomorrow morning.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

So Happy for a Poop

I got to change Keaton's diaper tonight and found POOP...YEAHHHHH! We never thought we would be so excited for a poop in our lives. He still needs to go more, but there was poop and enough for it to be considered a poop and not a "Streak".

Keaton is now up to 2 lb 14 oz so only has two ounces before he is at birth weight. McKenna gained two ounces over night and is up to 2 lb 1 entire ounce above her birth weight. We are so grateful.

McKenna is still having problems remembering to breathe. While visiting her this morning there were two back to back times when she stopped breathing and her heart rate slowed WAY down. It was so scary. We called this afternoon and she had a few more. They say due to being preemie her brain isn't fully developed so she forgets to breathe. Keaton has the same problem, but it doesn't seem to happen as often and he is able to recover on his own where as McKenna has to be stimulated by someone touching and poking her to remind her to breathe. It is so scary.

Keaton was moved over to McKenna's row today so now they are side-by-side and we can sit in between the two and not have to go back and forth. This will be so nice and help us to even out our time with each baby a little more. What a blessing!

Prayers today are that they both have bowel movements and both remember to breathe. Also that they gain weight, and that God continue to heal and touch their bodies for complete health and restoration. One more day down and one step closer to being able to take home our precious babies. I couldn't be more grateful.

Improving Daily

Could a mother be any more grateful? I just can't get over how much God is blessing my tinys and how much improvement they are making daily. Truly the hundreds of prayers being lifted for our babies are being heard and God is answering! Thank you everyone!!!

Last night (their one week birthday) we walked in to see that the babies are off the billirubin lights. This means their billirubin levels were high enough that their livers were out of danger, at least for the time being. I understand that at any point they may be put back on the lights, and that's okay, but I am grateful today that they are off them. The lights increase chances for eye damage and being as small as they are the goggles they put on to cover their eyes are too big so they don't stay on well.

Weight - I have been saying my daughter is a pound and a half...exaggeration. The smallest she has gotten is 1 lb, 12 oz which technically is closer to 2 lb (birth weight) than the half way mark, but she is so small, and when they are that tiny every ounce truly matters.

Last night McKenna was weighing in at 1 lb, 15 oz; that is only one ounce away from her birth weight. Keaton was weighing 2 lb, 13 oz (smallest he got was 2 lb, 10 oz) but the nurse said he is only a couple grams away from being 2 lb, 14 oz. This is huge. Both babies are moving forward on weight. So grateful! The nurse did say that as soon as they get the IV catheters out of their legs their weight will drop, and as soon as Keaton has a bowel movement, they will lose weight, but so far they are back on the uphill side of things.

Feedings are going well. They are now increasing amount of breast milk they receive by 1 ml every 6 hours. Keaton is up to 12 ml of breast milk (almost 1/2 an ounce) and McKenna is up to 9 ml. Keaton had a new feeding cord put in that goes into his nose instead of his mouth and is a thinner cord and less bothersome. McKenna is still receiving feedings through mouth IV but as long as she keeps the C-PAP off for another day or two they will switch to a nose IV for her too.

They are tolerating feedings but Keaton is starting to have a little bit of spit up coming out the nose and didn't digest a little of it during one of his feedings. Nurse was quick to point out that at any time they can be forced to decrease feedings, stand them at a Holt for a little bit, or take them off feeding all together for a day or two which would force them to start over at the beginnings o the feedings (1 ml) or at least at the half way point (10 ml). That was discouraging, but trying to keep in mind that they have to warn us of worst case scenario.

Prayers today are that Keaton has a bowel movement, and that both babies remember to breathe (they still are having dips where they just forget to breathe and have to be reminded by the nurses poking them), have protection from viruses, infections, diseases, have healthy digestive systems, protection over their brains and no bleeding on the brains (scan brains on April 24 and then again a month later to see if their is current bleeding), no heart problems or murmurs, full lung development and that they continue to open and shut on their own, protection of their livers, healthy and normal sight and hearing.

With the hundreds of prayers lifted for our tinys daily, we are so grateful and could never show or tell everyone thank you enough!!! Hoping that the positive results and the continual updates are a reminder to everyone to keep going because the prayers are working and God willing, we will be able to bring them home in no time.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Oops, Assumed to Soon

Well, Guess I assumed to quickly. Had assumed that McKenna was one step ahead of Keaton by getting the C-PAP off and not needing anything. Tonight we walked in to visit the babies and was telling Grandpa Dana about McKenna's improvements and that Keaton had the oxygen bubble only to realize they had removed him from the bubble and Keaton was without the need for oxygen help. What a blessing. Both my babies are operating solely on the help of Jesus for breathing and they look SO GOOD.

Was hoping to kangaroo McKenna today. Haven't held her for several days but due to the C=PAP removal they said it wouldn't be a good idea. then tonight I asked Keaton's nurse if I could kangaroo him, assuming she would say no because they seem to always say no, but she didn't...she said yes. It was wonderful and I could hardly get rid of the smile on my face.

I was able to kangaroo hold Keaton for over an hour. Had to put him back because it was after 10 pm and we needed to allow time to drive home before the next pumping, but it was such a blessing to finally have Keaton in my arms again and to be able to bond with him. I was able to pray over Keaton, talk with him, give him kisses on his head several times, etc. Ah, what a rush it is to hold your babies.

When we had to give him back to the nurse, Kyle came over and kissed the top of Keaton's head and said goodnight. It was so sweet.

McKenna is doing well tonight too. We got to watch her a few minutes without the eye mask on as the nurses did their nightly routine testing. She gained another ounce and is now up to 1 lb, 14 oz. We are thrilled at the weight gain. Her stomach is "rippling" though and it looks so painful. Partially it ripples from oxygen in her tummy from the C-PAP, and the other reason is just her needing to have a bowel movement.

She is absolutely adorable and precious and I love to watch her with her eyes open. She is in the incubator still which makes it hard to talk with her. I can open the flap on the side to talk to her, but it lets in cool air (even if I push the "protective nurse" button which is suppose to help avoid air getting out. So, that makes me nervous and I usually end up holding her finger and talking to her for only a couple seconds before I shut the vent door and am forced to just sit there. Still talk to her even with door shut, but doubt that she can hear me.

Praying for protection over both babies hearts, brains, nervous systems, digestive systems, lungs, oxygen levels and protection again viruses or infections. Also praying they have bowel movements on a regular basis, that they are able to hear and see normally, and that Jesus watch over them and give them strength and weight gain. And, that even from an early age they would know and serve the Lord. God is in control. I am so grateful for that!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

One Step Ahead of Her Brother

Originally I was getting frustrated because for every step forward for one baby the other seemed to take a step back. But today, decided I am changing my way of thinking and the babies are racing each other to see who can get better the fastest. Hope they cross the finish line at the same time.

Today McKenna got her C-PAP off and is not requiring ANYTHING. She doesn't need an oxygen tube, doesn't need an oxygen bubble. She is relying stricly on the air and her body to do the work needed. I am so proud of her.

Yesterday both babies had the IVs in their arms removed because they stopped working. This is not necessarily a step forward; they both still have their IV Cathiters in their legs. But, it's great that they didn't get infections in those arms.

Missing my babies today. Haven't held either one of them in several days and feel lonely without that. Was planning to kangaroo McKenna today but with the removal of the c-pap they suggest against it because she needs to rest and that was considered a big event for her today. Not sure when they will let me hold Keaton and very eager to kangaroo him, but having to wait to see when his body will allow for that. With his c-pap removed yesterday it wasn't possible to hold him. Will be anxious to see if they let me tonight. Can hardly wait to get in to see them, but completely exhausted so need to rest before heading to hospital. Hoping to get an hour of sleep before the visit with them.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Nurses let me give my babies kisses good night. I nearly cried. Neither of them cried or fussed when I did it, so i just wanted to keep kissing, but restrained myself. My babies are so beautiful. We are so blessed. Please, Lord, protect them, heal them and watch over them, and bring them home safe and soon.

One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

What a day. We walked into the NICU and saw Keaton had an oxygen bubble on his head. This is a clear plastic bubble that throws off oxygen and prevents him from having tubes hooked to his face for breathing. This device replaced his C-PAP. We were so excited. What a blessing. It looks uncomfortable and awkward, but way more comfortable than the C-PAP. The difference with the two, other than placement and all, is the C-PAP pushes in air and helps open up the lungs. So this is truly a step forward for Keaton.

Keaton is also up to 4 ml of breast milk and at his night feeding tonight they will increase it to 5 ml which is 1/5 of an oz. That is huge. He still hasn't had a bowel movement. The concern with that is because preemies have a lot of digestive problems and often end up having surgery on their bowels. Please pray that his body learns to digest food properly and what goes in is able to go out. And pray that he starts gaining weight. Also pray for his overall health, his brain development, his heart, sight, hearing etc...

Little Ms McKenna Jo has Kyle and I both worried. She is SO little and just seems to get smaller and smaller every day. Part of this is because we see her brother that is a pound heavier than her, then go over and see this tiny 1 1/2 lb baby that is literally only skin and bones. Yesterday she weighed in at 1 lb 13 oz so it appeared that she had gained an ounce but the nurse was quick to point out she probably didn't gain any weight. They often look like they do but they just need to go the restroom, or it could be even the simple fact she had a new IV put in her body that makes her look like she gained weight.

Yesterday they let me hold her as they changed her bedding. It was literally only two or three minutes, and i didn't get to cradle her or anything. It was holding her tiny body in my hand, but I loved it. She seems to take peace in being held by me which melts my heart into a million pieces. They had taken off her C-Pap and we go to see her eyes and hair and face. She is beautiful!!! And she just watched me the entire time I held her. The second I put her down she started crying. She knows who her momma is. :)

Today when we visited the nurse asked if I wanted to help change her diaper. Because they are on the bellirubin lights they don't really put a diaper on her...really just put it more under her. It was scary lifting up her tiny hips to scoot it under her because she is SO little. And the diaper change made her really mad! She fussed and sounded like she had a real baby cry it was so loud today. She got so worked up that she stopped breathing a few times. It was so scary to watch.

We are praying for McKenna to gain weight, to continue having bowel movements, to get bigger, to continue to breathe and to remember to breathe, for her heart to close in any holes it may have and for her overall health, hearing, sight, etc.

Daddy Held Keaton

Yesterday Daddy got to hold his son. It was the most amazing thing to watch. Kyle had a smile ear to ear as they put Keaton in his arms. And he just sat there talking to him, telling him to grow, get bigger, hang in there, etc. And Keaton amazingly had his eyes open almost the entire time, just looking up at Kyle. We are so thrilled that Keaton looks like he is doing a bit better every day. He still hasn't had bowel movements which is concern to us, but so far they are not too worried, so we need to take comfort in that. And he hasn't gained weight, but hasn't lost any. He has maintained the 2 lbs and 10 oz for several days now.

Praying he continues to grow and get better each day.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Kangarooing McKenna

Wow. I feel so blessed. It was incredible to hold Keaton the other day, and even more incredible today the opportunity to kangaroo McKenna. I can't wait to experience the same thing with Keaton, but until then, here is the most amazing experience I have ever had...

McKenna hates to be touched. All the nurses point this out to us every time we go in to see them or we talk to them. She fusses and gets very angry. Doesn't really matter what you do, if you are touching her she is upset. So the idea of kangarooing her was a bit overwhelming.

Kangarooing is holding the baby skin to skin. Is suppose to help them grow, helps their blood pressure and helps them overall while allowing parent to bond with baby. They put the baby on the parent's chest and require that you are able to hold the baby at least an hour (not sure why people wouldn't be willing to hold their baby as long as possible).

So I went down to NICU and was able to help take McKenna's temperature, swab her mouth out with a wet sponge and then they had me sit in the chair. I was scared out of my mind because she is so tiny (1 lb, 12 oz) and has so many cords, and I really didn't want her to get all worked up by me holding her. I am so emotional and wasn't sure how I would handle that. To my surprise though, she loved it.

They rearranged a bunch of cords, unhooked her from a couple different things and then brought her over to my chest. She was screaming (which is really the tiniest and sweetest little whimper compared to most babies) and so angry and the second they put her on my chest, literally, she stopped crying. Seeing her take comfort on my chest of course made me cry because it was so rewarding and special. I felt like she remembered my heartbeat and my voice and that it comforted her enough to calm her down. She just laid there, for an hour and a half. I was able to pray over her, sing her songs (Gospel music and ones I would make up about how beautiful she is and how much I love her), tell her stories about her daddy, told her over and over how gorgeous she is and how loved she is. She even looked up at me a couple times while i was talking to her. And she had her hand up on my chest and kept stretching out her fingers and moving hand across my chest. So precious. I am so in love with my daughter. I can't get enough of her and was broken hearted when I had to leave hospital last night to go home. My heart feels incomplete being away from my children-especially after an experience like that.

Monday, April 13, 2009


Keaton had his first feeding last night. 1 CC of breastmilk (1/30 of an ounce). He apparently did well enough that they will start feedinng him once every three hours (were going to do once every six hours). We are so grateful for the news that he is taking to the food.

McKenna will receive her first feeding (same amount) today at 8:30 am. We are hoping to be there to take a picture since we were able to with Keaton's, but we have to wait for the doctor, so it all just depends on when he gets here. Very excited they are going to let her start eating though because she is so tiny and literally only skin and bones and the nurses weren't sure when they were going to let her eat last time we talked to them.

Hoping and praying that they both are able to take breast milk and that it helps them to grow big, healthy and strong.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Daily Miracles

What a whirlwind this experience has been. Daily ups and downs that keep us on our toes and make us appreciate the opportunity to be parents all the more.

Currently pumping breast milk and giving it to nurses to store. Babies are too small to eat it at this time, so the nurses freeze it and will use what they have stored up when they are able. Pumping every two hours during the day and then two night shifts that are four hours apart. So we pump, then run the supply down to NICU and get to take advantage of a few minutes with the babies. It's our excuse to continually stop in and check on them.

Today we went to see the babies and McKenna was laying on her belly with her goggles on to protect her eyes from bellirubin lights and she had apparently just caused quite a fuss in the room. Her hand kept waving and she was stretching out her fingers. I got to put my finger under it and she held on for just a second or two. Her fingers look double jointed like mine, but that could just be that they aren't fully developed yet. Either way, it was adorable. And Kyle kept smiling watching her move the hand and said, "I wonder when if we will see a wedding ring on that hand one day." Already getting protective of her. :)

Also, got to hold Keaton today for about thirty minutes or maybe a little longer. It was scary because he has so many cords on him, but the nurse had me sit down, put a pillow on my lap, a blanket on the pillow and then laid him on there. He was so precious. He kept trying to open his eyes and for the most part just laid there content. I cried out of joy of finally getting to hold him. What a blessing.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


*Keaton is the picture with the white hat thing on. McKenna is the other two pics.

McKenna decided she had finally had enough, and Friday was the birth of our first children. McKenna's movement was still pretty much non existent, her amniotic fluid was still low and still having problems with her blood flow. The goal was for them to be born and for her to be able to improve in those areas.

I was wheeled back to Perinatal ICU, where we had been staying the past couple of nights, and told to get out of clothes, into hospital gown and then the paperwork and everything was started. It all moved rather quickly and within an hour I had swigged antibiotics, filled out all consent forms, asked my few little questions and was sitting on an operating table waiting to meet Keaton and McKenna. My main concerns were that my doctor was out of town, so it was his partner operating, and I was scared I wouldn't get to see the babies.

So I laid there, with Dr Walker singing "John Jacob Jinglehymer Smith" and felt my body be twisted and turned every which way while they began the surgery. Kyle sat next to me the entire time with a huge smile on his face from fascination over the whole surgery thing and was excited they let him watch the whole thing.

So they started cutting, which I was grateful I couldn't feel, and I felt some deep pushes that knocked the wind out of me practically. And, Then I heard it...the tiniest little cry that sounded so pathetic and tiny. It was adorable. And the nurses told me to look to my left because they were getting ready to bring baby over. Got to see Keaton for about 5 seconds and then they whisked him away to do stuff with him but that 5 seconds was amazing.

Two minutes after Keaton was born, I hear the other cry. This one isn't quite as delicate, but still very tiny sounding and adorable for a cry. And, as they did with Keaton, the nurses brought McKenna over to my left side, let me see her for about 5 seconds and rushed her off. She was so tiny it scared me to look at her.

McKenna was born 2 lbs and 13 inches, with curly brown hair and is the tiniest baby I have ever seen.

Keaton was born 3 lbs and 18.5 inches with blond hair that almost looks grayish. He is meatier than McKenna, but still super small. Not sure how people hold babies when they are that tiny.

Friday, April 10, 2009


Slept last night for the first time in weeks. Doctor prescribed me something to help me relax and make me drowsy. Said it is something they usually encourage PCU patients to take to help increase their chance of sleep. Sleep is obviously important and necessary to help babies grow. Have taken it one or two other times while at hospital, but it hasn't done much. Makes me drowsy but I usually still can't sleep because nurses coming in and out, monitors being shifted on babies, can't get comfortable, back killing met, etc. Last night though, I am so grateful to say, God allowed me to sleep. The pill made me tired, nurses were able to hook monitors up correctly with me on side, and the nurse working last night was kind enough to keep adjusting them which allowed me to stay on side. Probably got a total of 5 or 6 hours sleep. Of course it was still very interrupted, but I am okay with that.

Woke up at 7 am, took shower, threw on clothes instead of hospital gear, and now am just sitting and waiting for the 11:30 ultra sound. Anxious to hear if we can continue pregnancy a few more days, or if today will be their birthday. Whatever the outcome, just praying God protect these babies and watch over them!!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Back in the Hospital

Went in yesterday for ultra sound and must say I was not surprised by the results. First for the good news...Keaton is doing great. He is moving around like crazy, active, showing breathing activity or exercises, heart looks good, etc. He received an 8 out of 8 on scoring.

McKenna is a different story. For the past few weeks she has been causing concern and apparently is not ready to let us give up worry. Her blood flow is back to what it was last Wednesday. It's not steady, but is not reverse flow. Her amniotic fluid is even lower than it was last week too, with it being around a 3. And, they measure babies on a scale of 1-8 based on movements, breathing, fluid, etc in thirty minute. If it is a 4 or lower, they take you in for delivery. McKenna decided this was her nap time and she was not going to move, no matter what they did. So the ultra sound tech was pushing on my belly, shaking the baby and trying to get her to move. She refused. So she started pushing on Keaton trying to get his movement to jump start hers. Well it made him move like crazy, but she still refused to move. After 28 minutes, the doctor came in and brought a vibrating machine, pressed it where her head is and apparently she made enough movement to make her rating go from a 4 to a 6. So we were able to avoid delivery yesterday (at 30 weeks) by two minutes. How scary!

So we are back in hospital, being monitored 24 hours. I am able to get up to use restroom, but not able to take showers or do anything that requires monitors to be off me for more than a few minutes. While hospitals are not a fun place to be and I can't get comfortable and I miss my house, I do take comfort knowing that the doctors are avaialble at any point here, and the nurses are continually watching monitors to make sure McKenna and Keaton are kicking, moving, breathing right and doing what they are suppose to.

We will return to Dr Dix's office Friday for another ultra sound to determine status of blood flow, amniotic fluid, movement, etc. So we are on hold until then. Grateful for another few days of being pregnant and hoping for a few more after Friday. God is in control though, and who knows what He has planned.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Too Anxious to Sleep

We are heading in today at 1 pm for our ultra sound to see if McKenna is still doing better. I am extremely nervous and anxious and can't sleep, so decided snacking, surfing the Internet, and blogging would be best distraction. So far not working.

Keep debating if I should avoid drinking and eating today and all that just incase I have to go straight in for c-section after ultra sound, but feel like that is almost claiming worst case scenario before it even happens. So, won't be doing that. Anxious also to see if they are going to remeasure the babies today. Last Wednesday they measured McKenna at 2 lb 3 oz and Keaton at 2 lb 12 oz. But Friday they only looked at their blood flow and then felt they had improved enough to send us home. So, if they don't measure the babies today I am going to be very upset. Need reassurance that they are still growing.

I feel bad because we are so worried about McKenna that I feel like Keaton is already being ignored. It's just that he has been doing well and showing no signs of stress or complications, so our concern goes straight for his sister. I do pray continually though that his health remains good, and since he is considered small (part of being a twin) still pray continually for his growth as well.

Entire body is still extremely itchy and have yet to find relief for it. Was told I can take something for it, but really hate the idea of having to take meds. Have had to take Pepcid for heartburn past two days and it really made me nervous. Don't want the babies to have drugs in their bodies. Doctors say there are no side effects for them, but you just never know, so currently willing to just keep scratching, applying a LOT of lotion, and hoping that the itch ligthens up.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Two More Days

Feeling very anxious for the next ultra sound. Every little cramp I have or discomfort or contraction I fear is a sign that something is wrong with McKenna. I know it means nothing, especially since I seemed to have more contractions in the hospital than I am having now, but still is a fear. Also worried I am not getting enough rest or going to do something wrong to hurt her blood flow again. God is in control...why is it so hard to remind myself of that every day?

Also a little confused. Main concern at beginning was that McKenna "stopped growing" as Dr Dix put it Friday. However, Friday they only looked at her blood flow and didn't think it was necessary to measure her growth, or keaton's. Curious to see if Tuesday they will measure the babies again to make sure that there is still growth, or if it is truly more of an issue about the blood flow.

Kyle came home Friday night and put up the changing table. We just need the other crib set up and for the most part the nursery will be ready to go. Well, that's not true. We need a million things for it: matresses, sheets, diapers, etc, but we would at least have things in place. My concern was getting a bassinett for the babies in time and car seats and all, but if the babies are born now, we will not be needing the stuff for a few weeks because babies will be in NICU.

Also feel bad that baby shower had to be canceled. Because I am on bed rest, there is just no way I can go to a shower in a few weeks. So we are going to do it after the babies are born. Will see how that works out. I sure do appreciate all the time and energy the girls have put into the shower and hoping that they are okay with the change. LaDawna is so laid back about it that she seems to be fine. And that is comforting.

Praying for the health of our babies still and for wisdom and direction for everyone working on them to make sure they are healthy and well.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Blessed with Family and Friends

We are so blessed with such great friends and family! Over a dozen friends visited while we were in the hospital to help us keep our mind off the stress of all that was going on. We got phone calls from everyone and continual emails and texts from friends checking in on us. And we got bouquets, magazines, goodie bags, etc. Such a blessing.

And my family, they are amazing! The Visocan side called continually checking in and sending text prayers, and the Dana's were unbelievable!!! Susie was there with me from the beginning, helping get everything for the hospital since I wasn't able to do it, and staying at hospital to keep my focus of the stress, and bringing dinner in when the hospital food didn't sound good. Bernie stopped by every day to visit and would call at least once a day for updates on the babies and to see how I was feeling. I don't think I have ever felt so loved!!!

Home now, and so grateful to be here. But will see it is a little more nerve racking. I don't do well, as my college roommate would agree, with people serving me or doing things for me and feel like if I am home I should get my own water, make my own meals, etc. But Kyle is so wonderful and has really stepped up to the plate. He has made me every meal, gets me drinks before I even need to ask, cleans up my mess, gives me extra pillows in the bed so I can get comfortable and don't have to sleep on the couch, and the whole nine yards. And Kyle's mom did grocery shopping for us today, made us dinner that Kyle only had to throw in the oven, and stopped by to check on us. And his dad called today to check on the babies.

Mood today is grateful and humble!

Hospital Memories

Thought I should post this email sent out to friends. Have to love sharing a bathroom with people...great memories if nothing else.

We are very blessed with our own room here, but share a bathroom with someone. Well, did unit 1 pm yesterday. Woke up to use the restroom, which happens about every 30 minutes being pregnant, but found urine ALL over the toilet seat and floor. Was not happy, obviously, but on bed rest and not allowed to stand other than to use restroom and just wanted to lay back down as quick as possible, so grabbed wipes and quickly wiped the seat and then ignored the thought that my sandals were standing in someone else's body fluids. When I heard my bathroom mates husband talking in the room next to me, I was really frustrated. assumed it was just a sign that he was the one that had used the bathroom, which is CLEARLY marked Patients Only, and felt that it would be appropriate to go yell at him to clean up after himself, but then was scared the lady would kill me in my sleep.

Anyhow, every time I used bathroom after that there happened to be pee all over the toilet again. SERIOUSLY? you are a woman. how in the world do you get pee all over the seat? This is also the same woman though that came and stood at my door and just watched as I talked with company, and the same woman that gets out of bed, opens her bathroom door without using bathroom so then when i use bathroom i am forced to smile, acknowledge her and shut her door. She must be lonely, right? I have no heart.

So then yesterday the babies were kicking monitors off tummy, as usually, and nurse was trying to find them in there again when suddenly kyle smelled smoke. Yes, the lovely bathroom mate decided she had the need to SMOKE INSIDE THE HOSPITAL BATHROOM. Oh man, i was not happy! the nurse ran out of our room and started banging on the door. Needless to say, she was "discharged" fifteen minutes later. Thank the Lord. And now I have my own bathroom, and the fumes of her nasty cig in my nose.

Friday, April 3, 2009


Went to the ultra sound today with the expectation of delivering the babies at 29 weeks, or the hopes of baby girl doing okay and allowing us to hold off a few more days before having to deliver. Instead, we got a miracle.

Baby Girl is doing better. She is not great, but better to the point that we were discharged from the hospital and allowed to go home for the weekend. We will go back daily to get none stress tests to make sure babies are both still there, since I am not able to determine which baby is kicking when and how often. We will go twice a week to Dr Dix (parinatologist) to get ultra sound to make sure that Baby Girl continues to improve, or does not get worse. We will go weekly to Dr Stamps (OBGYN) for updates and determening what to do from here on out.

Our prayers are that We can continue to see improvement in the health of Baby Girl, and that Baby Boy does well from here on out. We would love to get to at least 34 weeks and anxious to talk to the doctor to see if it is realistic to anticipate waiting until then to deliver, and see if there is a posibility now for it being even farther along before we have to deliver.

God is so faithful and good. We are so grateful!!!

Anxious and Starving

Woke up this morning, 8 am to my lovely doctor. He is so wonderful that I didn't even mind him waking me up even though I had only gotten about 4 hours of interrupted sleep throughout the night. I figure four hours is way better than the hour and a half the night before.

Dr Stamps, my OBGYN, is always pretty blunt and to the point, which I truly appreciate about a doctor. Can't stand it when they beat around the bush. Anyhow, he told me I am not allowed to eat or drink anything today incase McKenna, the baby girl, does have reverse blood flow. They will take me straight to surgery if she does, no delays. Was and am still hoping that she can wait out a few more days so they both can continue to grow, and because they say steroids have the best effect on the babies if given at least 48 hours before delivery. Won't be 48 hours until 6 tonight. Just one more thing that we are forced to trust in God about.

The nurse came in and walked me through the procedure. Where they will shave, how they will cut, drugs they will give me, recovery time, etc. We should expect babies to be in hospital until due date at least...June 16. She said they are usually in hospital a few months if born at 29 weeks. We are 29 weeks and 3 days today and grateful for every day that the Lord has allowed me to carry them in my uterus.

Sitting here, waiting for Kyle to come from work, and listening to babies' movements on the monitor. McKenna is kicking a bit on the left side and has hiccups. Can't feel the hiccups but can hear them. Keaton, our son, is pretty still this morning and not really doing much. Their activities seem to have really died down since going on bedrest. I truly miss feeling their movements and keep thinking that on the way to the ultra sound I will refuse to move my hand from my belly because these monitors will be off it and hopefully my babies will kick and move around.

Praying for God's will today and feel like He has given me a peace that the outcome will be good, whatever it is. My goal is five more weeks in the hospital so the babies can grow, but really feel like we will be blessed to make it one more week. We will see. All part of His plan.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Hospital Bound - 29 Weeks

Apparently still not suppose to have control over babies or pregnancy? who knows.

dr Dix was great. her entire staff was. unfortunately, the babies just aren't cooperating.

Baby B, the girl, is still measuring two weeks behind her brother, is only 2 lbs, 2 oz ( he is 2 lbs, 12 oz) and is not getting proper blood flow from placenta. that being said, they have forced me to be in the hospital where i will remain until delivery. Currently i am 29 weeks pregnant.

although the girl is not getting proper blood flow, she does not have "reverse flow". if she did, than they would induce me right away. They will do another ultra sound friday to make sure that there is still no reverse flow, and i will continue to get frequent ultra sounds to make sure this does not occur. the plan is to stay in hospital until i get reverse flow, or if i don't ever get it (which is what we are praying) then they will most likely induce me by or around week 34. She also has low amniotic fluid, which isn't good.

Also, they are giving me steroid shots which will help lungs of babies grow and decrease the risk for blood to their brains and a few other things. Had first shot tonight and will have second tomorrow night. That's all they need/will give...two steroid shots. So I am really grateful that they are able to do that and hoping it will help them.

So, that's the update. Stuck in the hospital until the end and just praying, praying and praying that we can hold these babies in uterus for a few more weeks.

It is 2:30 am and have only managed to get about 30 minutes of sleep. They have me on monitors for babies' hearts and the babies move which means the nurses have to come reposition the monitors every 20 minutes or so. Also, have things on legs to help prevent blood clots which are irritating and causing a lot of itching. But totally tolerable and would prefer those to a clot! :)

Finally fell asleep around midnight for about 30 minutes or a little less but woke up to nurse standing over me because she needed to reposition monitors. Poor girl...i have nightmares really bad so woke up, saw her face and started screaming really loud. she didn't think it was as funny as I do. And has since refused to come in here...keeps sending the other nurse in, which is fine by me. hahaha. again, poor girl. feel bad. they said they will make a lot of noise before coming into room from here on out to help prevent freaking me out. So that's nice.

Anyhow, please keep the babies in your prayers, that we can carry them at least a few more weeks if not longer. and that they would be able to withstand the world when they are born.