Monday, December 26, 2011

Great Christmas

What a wonderful Christmas. My dad came out to spend a few days with us. The twins didn't remember him but by the end of his visit you can tell they are attached. My dad played with them, went with us to eat and shop, sang and read to them. Was just wonderful. Our last night with grandpa Steve here so we decided to eat at touch...a nice restaurant. Kyle stayed home to take care of some stuff around the house but the children did great and when we were leaving I got the best compliment ever from the manager. He came over to our table and said "your babies did great. You have raised them well and that's evident in their behavior." I often am blessed with people saying I am a good mom or patient or work hard etc, but it's usually geared around everything involved with Mckenna not eating. This was because the babies were truly sweet, pleasant and well behaved. And I'm one proud mommy tonight.

Tomorrow my dad heads back to MT and I will be excited to clean and straighten the house but sad as the house will for sure seem quieter. Keaton will play with his train from Santa, McKenna will play with her microwave and mommy will patiently wait for more of her family to plan a trip to come visit again.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Voice of a Toddler

The only thing sweeter than the voice of a two year old is the things that come out of his/her mouth. The twins have been saying the funniest things lately and I find myself laughing uncontrollably out loud. I text my parents to share with them all the cute little comments, but a text is read no doubt the same way a blog entry is read, with little enthusiasm and without the squeals, laughter, high pitches etc that my little ones share when talking. So in an attempt to recap and remember just a few of the most comical sayings the past few weeks, here I go.

Keaton had a dirty diaper. Mommy laid him on the floor, opened the diaper and said, Pee Ewe. Keaton smiled really big and said, "Merry Christmas, Mom."

McKenna is really into babies and always wants to change them. Whenever I change Keaton, McKenna sits beside me and says penis over and over. Lately though she sits beside me and says, "Keaton's penis, hahaha that's funny." and she starts fake laughing.

Both the twins are into singing Jingle Bells and looking for their Elf on the Shelf - Pheneous. Keaton tells anyone that he talks to not to touch Pheneous, or he will lose his magic...just like the show and book taught him. And Keaton is always asking if it's going to snow so Santa can come.

While in the car the other day McKenna was attempting to rhyme while Keaton does. Keaton like to rhyme by changing words to start with a d, so momma domma, mickey dickey, candy dandy, etc. So Mck was attempting to rhyme and Keaton got really frustrated and yelled, "What are you saying, McKenna? I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU."

Keaton wanted McKenna to talk to him and she was giving the silent treatment so he asked mommy to say something to McKenna. "I love you, McKenna" was my response. "No, you don't talk like that" was Keaton's.

Keaton loves to play chase, but he calls it wrestling.
McKenna wants you to pet everything, so she pretends she is holding bugs or animals and tells you to pet them.
When McKenna wants to pray she says "Jesus" then whatever she wants to pray for. So an example and the thing she says most often is "Jesus Grandpa" when she wants to pray for Grandpa Bernie.

McKenna calls my dad Grandma Steve. She is able to say grandpa because that's what she calls Bernie, but for some reason my dad gets the female title.

In an attempt to stall and not have to go to bed Keaton will try to get you to stay in his room as long as possible. So when mommy leaves the room lately he will say, "Wait mommy, I have to tell you something. I love you." So I go back in, say I love you too, good night. Then he will say, "wait, I have to tell you something, Have a great day at work." It's so cute!

Yesterday Keaton wanted to call Grandpa Bernie who was working, so he left him a message. "Hi Grandpa, It's me, Keaton. Don't forget to close your garage door. K, bye, Have a great day at work."

Oh the things the kids say. Wish I would have saved all the texts I have been sending but hey, at least was able to remember a couple.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Weaning, Talking, Playing

OH how I love being a mommy. I love waking up and singing "Good Morning to You" with and to the babies, and there stinky morning breath and the way they look at you with their half open eyes debating if they really are ready to get up. I love the fun things they say, the way the process the world and the way they try to manipulate. Kids are such a blessing.

Keaton is rambling all the time about something. He is really excited about Halloween (three days away) and keeps announcing to everyone that he doesn't have a costume yet, which is true. He walks around screaming, "We are going to go trick or treating and get lots of CANDDDDDYYYYYYY." And he loves reading the Halloween book and watching Charlie Brown's Halloween show with daddy.

Keaton is also really excited about Christmas. He goes from room to room singing Jingle Bells and talking about opening presents. He puts soap suds on his face and calls himself Santa.

He is really into music time and always asking daddy to play music on his Ipod. He loves the alphabet and wants to play with letters continually. He still insists on sleeping with his frog and sucking his thumb during naps. He has no interest in potty training. He has become quite the unhealthy eater but does enjoy fruit. He loves taking lids on and off things -Tupperware, bottles, etc. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, and Dora. And he gives great bear hugs when you tell him to squeeze.

Keaton squeals and screams when he gets really excited about things. He lately has been scared of the dark and starts saying, "mommy, I can't find you, where are you?" He does okay with strangers and waves at everyone at stores and screams "who is that guy?" But if a stranger is standing by us he screams "Noooo, he's too close to me." It's embarrassing but so adorable.

McKenna still is sleeping in mommy and daddy's room. She makes a clicking/sucking noise to put herself to sleep and requires her stuffed bunny to fall asleep. Actually, she always wants the bunny - in and out of bed. Mommy has been trying to teach her that she doesn't need bunny to be confidant - it's not working.

McKenna is a very shy girl, clings to mommy and daddy, and doesn't like strangers. She is aggressive, temperamental and knows what she wants. She bats her eyes, gives grins and little smirks and mommy melts and gives her whatever she wants - a habit mommy needs to break quickly.

McKenna is currently going through wean attempt number two. She has lost 1 1/5 lbs so far and can lose up to 2 1/2 lbs before she would have to go back to tube feedings. She is a careful eater, taking long periods of time to chew before swallowing and she insists on bites being completely mutilated before swallowing.

McKenna loves to dance and will put fist in air, shaking it and say dance, dance, dance. McKenna is very into animals, especially puppy dogs. She practically hyperventilates when she hears or sees a dog and starts screaming and squealing saying puppy puppy.

McKenna is afraid of the dark, thunder, lightening, storms, rain, snow, ice, vacuums, strangers. She is great at cuddling, dancing, stacking blocks. She loves Keaton's play lawnmower and will spend over 20 minutes a day pushing it from room to room, or in circles between the family room and kitchen. She likes to build houses with the blocks and throwing toys. McKenna will come up to you randomly and offer kisses and hugs. She will rub your back if you are sitting on the ground next to her. She offers you bites of her food and is good at sharing (for the most part). She has been attempting to count and sing nursery rhymes.

I love having twins. They are a lot of work, but they interact and are built in playdates. Keaton for sure plays the role of big brother. McKenna is one hundred percet the little sister. Oh how blessed I am to be a mom!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Minor Concussion

While mommy was in the kitchen washing dishes she heard a thud and then Keaton screaming. He ran into the kitchen and out of no where had a huge bruise and welt on his forehead. I went into the family room to see what happened and the box of cars was next to the table and it looked like Keaton either fell of the box and hit his head or McKenna pushed him off and he hit his head.

Because of how quickly it bruised and the swelling started I freaked out and immediately called our pediatrician hot line since it was after office hours and was told to watch for signs of concussion, one which was Keaton puking 2 or more times in the next 36 hours.

Within ten minutes of the accident Keaton seemed fine. He wasn't screaming or crying, his eyes weren't over dilated, he wasn't pale or acting odd, so I figured we were in the clear. Then yesterday, 12 hours after it happened, Keaton puked all over in the car. He did only puke once but he also acted odd throughout the day and was not very active. He didn't show any signs for a major concussion, so we are just marking it as his first minor concussion and keeping an eye on him. Man oh man, it is one big bruise. Poor guy!

The Imagination of a Two Year Old

I didn't realize that a child's imagination kicks in at such an early age. It is by far my favorite thing to watch with the twins. Keaton wakes up every morning and pretends his blanket has "tiny winy dinosaurs" all over. He pretends to smash them, play with them, touch or pet them. He also says there are porcupines and hippos eating watermelons, or he will act like he is eating the animals. It's so funny to watch his expressions and hear his voice inflictions.

Today McKenna started pretending as well. She got on the ground and jumped like a frog and then started to act like there were little frogs on the ground that she was smashing.

I am not sure if McKenna quite gets what she is doing or if she is just copying Keaton, as that seems to be her favorite activity, but either way it is adorable and fun to watch.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Swim Time

What a great afternoon. My friend Shannon joined me and the twins for a day at the neighborhood pool, and unlike the time daddy took Keaton, both babies loved the water.

We were only there for two hours and of course right when it is time to get out so we can feed McKenna is the same time the twins started really enjoying the pool. Keaton was really into climbing in and out of the kiddie pool. He would only go to the first step (ankle deep) but Shannon taught him to kick his feet in the water which convinced him it was okay to sit on the first step while his legs were completely in water. He would get in, sit down, stand up, get out and then repeat it all over again - over and over.

Fifteen minutes before we got out of the water I held him in the water to his chest and he kept crying and saying he wanted to go to the stairs, so I said, "Okay Keaton, put your feet down and you can walk to the stairs and play on them." He agreed. He put his feet down, stood for a second and then saw a leaf floating in the water and decided to chase it instead, which lead to him walking in the water and he LOVED it. He was laughing and giggling and talking and chasing throwing the leaf to go get it. Adorable. He didn't want to get out.

McKenna did well in the water last time but preferred the big pool. Today was the same. She really didn't want the kiddie pool, but that's where Keaton was and she likes to be by his side if possible. For the most part she stood on the first step or right outside the kiddie pool. And then like Keaton the last fifteen minutes she actually started playing in the pool, going to the big pool and walking back and forth on the steps and at the very last minute agreed to stand in the kiddie pool which goes up to her chest. She did great.

We are excited to take the kids to the pool again next time. Although next time I will be bringing their swimming wings to make mommy feel a little more comfortable.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Fingers and Toes

Tomorrow we head to KC for the feeding clinic evaluation. I am pretty nervous about what to expect and what the outcome will be. What if they accept us but McKenna doesn't do well with the treatment and we fail so are stuck on the feeding tube forever? If McKenna doesn't get accepted where do we go from here? How soon after evaluation will we know if this is an option for us? How long will she be on the experimental drugs...yes a ton of questions!

SO, to help us keep our mind off things while daddy is at urgent care with sick little Keaton mommy painted McKenna's fingernails purple. She looks so cute and was such a big girl sitting while I painted. Didn't fuss or yank her hand away. She wanted her toes done too but we ran out of time.

I have two outfits picked out for tomorrow - both brand new. One is green and white and pink, other is orangish pink and brown. And we have her glitter pink shoes set out too. So a new outfit, painted fingers and pigtails...if thatttt doesn't get her into the feeding study I don't know what will.

I just keep thinking tomorrow could be the day that changes our future. Maybe tomorrow they will have answers and options for us. Of course this is how I felt pre-wean and how I felt pre Chicago trip. One day at a time. Today she is still on a feeding tube and as I type this she is hooked up to a machine, laying in her crib in mommy's room and talking to herself. I love her so much and just want her to have the world. Is that asking too much?

Keaton's Fever

Poor Keaton, woke up with a small fever. Didn't take his temp because within 10 or 15 minutes seemed to go away. We went to a friend's house because mommy thought Keaton probably didn't realllllly have a fever earlier, was just from sleeping with blankets.

When he woke from his 30 minute nap, yes that was a SHORT nap today, he had fever of 101.5. He felt so hot, was a tiny fussy but didn't seem to be sick. It's 8 pm and Keaton now has a fever of 103.6...the highest temp he has ever had.

Mommy has always been told don't call until 103, don't take in until 105. SO our urgent care closes at 8, so daddy rushed him there, got him in 5 minutes before they close and now we are just waiting to see what is wrong. I am guessing ear ache, we will see. My poor baby boy is so sick he didn't even cry or fuss when daddy turned off "Blues Clues" - his favorite show.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

First Baths

Well after over 26 months daddy finally gave the babies a bath. Mommy pulled her back out a couple days ago when picking a piece of paper up from the ground and wham that's all it took. Finally able to walk today, but still too painful to bend over, so daddy had to step in and wash the kids. He was so stressed out about it - pretty funny to watch. Mommy was able to get on ground and wash McKenna so daddy could see how to do it, but couldn't get Keaton to come to my side of the bath. The question is now that daddy knows how to wash his kids, will he ever do it again?

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

So Cute

I can't help but wonder if other parents think their kids are as cute as I think mine are. I truly find myself laughing all day long, of course along with yelling and disciplining, but still...

This week Keaton woke up and was looking out the window and announced there weren't any dinosaurs outside. He seemed so surprised that he wasn't seeing any. And then when we were in the kitchen watching McKenna being tube fed he laid on the floor and saw a spot of water and started saying, "I see a snail." It's amazing to me his imagination. It's so fun to watch it take place. And then again tonight while looking out the window he told daddy that he saw a Brontosaurus. Spelling on that dinosaur I have no idea!

McKenna has really started saying "I love you," But it comes out "I wuv ewe". This week she learned to yell it REALLY loud and add mommy at the end. So she walks around saying "I wuv ewe mommy." The first part yelled, and mommy is spoken softly. Too cute.

Both kids are sick right now. They have runny noses and congestion which makes them nasal sounding when talking which just adds to the cuteness. Of course the whining and fussing that goes with the colds...that part I would love to trade in.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Special Moms

Today I sat in a room full of moms with children that have special needs. Children with hearing or sight impairment, physical disabilities, cognitive delays, speech and feeding issues. I looked at each of the women and studied their faces that had smiles stretched ear to ear and watched as they laughed and talked with one another. They all seemed happy and hopeful. I kept thinking of the hours upon hours that they have invested in their children in hopes of seeing their child reach milestones or make improvement and literally caught myself on numerous occasions fighting the tears. They all seemed so strong and their burdens seemed so much greater than mine, and yet they were still pressing on and sharing with one another ideas and possibilities.

A feeding/speech therapist was there that I have heard wonders of from a friend and we were able to ask questions and the entire time I was on the edge of my seating praying and begging God to have this man share SOMETHING that would give me direction on how to help little Mickey eat. But time ran out, I had to get home to hook McKenna up to the tube and I came home without answers. The one positive, in addition to meeting amazing and strong women, is that the therapist told me to call next week and ask all my questions and he won't charge me for the call.

So next week I will call him and ask my million questions and see if he thinks there is something he can do to help McKenna before we financially invest in yet another therapist or doctor that claims he can help until he meets her and sees how complex her situation is and passes her to another person.

I am feeling very down tonight and helpless. Our pediatrician isn't on our side, our GI just wants to keep giving McKenna more and more meds, our therapists don't know what to do so they just hang out and talk or read her books and God, the one true Healer is apparently saying it's not her time to be healed yet.

So tomorrow we will be woken by retching most likely, and we will tube feed McKenna every three hours, and we will offer her food that she will ignore and refuse to eat or taste and we will hold the rag while she retches and pukes and we will play with her hair or rub her back to try to calm her, and we will debate what the next step is...we really just don't know where else to go from here. And yes...tonight I am having a pitty party.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Gift of Speech

McKenna's vocabulary has doubled in the past month. Beginning of May she was saying a few over 50 words. Today she is saying over 110 words and even putting two or three words together. She is very big on asking, "What's that?" or "Where daddy go?" While she probably understands most of what she is saying, sometimes I think she just repeats what she hears Keaton say and then she receives so much praise for talking she repeats over and over.

I love to hear McKenna say, "Sawee" for sorry, "tank ewe" for thank you, "peas" for please" "teeton" for Keaton, "damn awe" for grandma. She has a super cute little voice and she is so proud of herself when she talks. The difficult part is that sometimes talking causes her to retch. Not sure if it tickles her throat the wrong way or what, but it's so sad.

McKenna is starting to get more into books and today started trying to say a few of the words she had just heard read. We have been working a little with flashcards, and also trying to identify more stuff when we are being quiet and encouraging McKenna to repeat. She has to be in the right mood to agree to repeat.

Everyone says girls talk your ears off, so I am not in a rush to get her to talk, just want her to be able to communicate when she needs to. smiles.

The Cutest Sayings

I don't want to forget the things that Keaton says. They are so cute and half of it is his delivery. He has the sweetest little voice and the way he raises and lowers his tones is so cute. So here are a few of the wonderful things he has said, though they aren't nearly as cute as when he actually does say them...

We were all in the car and out of nowhere Keaton said, "The car tooted."
Sitting in livingroom and Keaton was bored so he walked to mommy and said, "How about we go on a drive?" Yes, he said all those words at only 26 months old. Too funny.

On way home from church, mommy "Keaton, how much fun did you have? Did you have this much" (said in a tiny low voice and showing with fingers a small amount of fun. Keaton - "Yes, this much fun." Mommy - "Or did you have THIS much?" (voice loud and arms stretched). Keaton, "Yes, this much fun." Mommy - "Really? THISSSS MUCH?" Keaton, "well, no not THAT much."

Mommy, "Keaton, what do you want to eat? Chili, pasta, sandwiches..." Keaton, "I have an idea. How about cupcakes?"

When we go to Grandma Susie's house Keaton literally squeals out loud and starts to hyperventilate. He gets that excited. And every house we drive by or walk by, regardless if we are going there, he says "That's not Grandma's house, that's not grandma's, that ones about we go to Grandma's? that's not grandmas....

Keaton threatens McKenna quite often that he will spank her bottom if she doesn't do what he wants. He is great at sharing until recently when he has learned the power of ownership. Every toy he sees he wants.

Keaton loves to hear books over and over and will recite them to you...he can learn most of a book after just a few times hearing it. If we go get in the car he asks to go to grandma's house or Andy's (frozen custard). If we go to Target he requests an Icee. He lvoes to walk around and tells McKenna to hold his hand. He is the sweetest most loving little boy. So blessed am I!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Keaton's First Day at Church

While eating breakfast this morning I asked Keaton if he wanted to go to church with me. Normally mommy goes, daddy stays home with the kids just because McKenna's puking and retching and we don't want to risk someone ripping out the feeding button. So when I asked Keaton if he wanted to go he threw down his bowl of dry cereal and started shouting, "Go to church, go to church."

Keaton and mommy walked into church and he just kept asking, "What is this, mommy?" Was sad that he didn't even know what church was. We checked him in, got a nametag on him and mommy took him back to the Lamb Room, then the water works started. I was so proud of him. Luckily for mommy Amy Townsend was walking her son, Jackson, back to the Lamb room at the same time, and we saw Kristin's son there too, so mommy felt a little better knowing that Keaton had met two of the boys.

So we got to the door and my eyes were watering and we saw the puzzles on the table and I asked Keaton if he wanted to do a puzzle. He was so excited I almost dropped him as he squirmed out of my arms and into the teachers.

I couldn't really concentrate on the message during church because I was so nervous as to how Keaton was doing. But they said he did great. He got to color, go to the jungle gym, had a snack and made new friends. He was excited to see mommy when I picked him up, which made me feel good.

I am excited to take him to church next week, and excited for the day when McKenna gets to go too.

Monday, May 16, 2011


Sweet Little McKenna, how I wish we could snap our fingers and the Lord would heal her. I wish He would speak the word of healing and I would love to see all the people smile in amazement at the mighty work of God. Well, we know His works are mighty, so maybe that is just me trying to manipulate Him into healing. Did it work? Truly though, speak it God and it is done...any minute now...we are anxiously awaiting.

Daddy and McKenna are down in radiology having the G Tube switched to a GJ tube. Mommy was not brave enough to go. Watching your child scream and cry, seeing their eyes fill with fear, nope...can't do it. Tried to do it with her this week when they placed and IV. I had to leave room. Thought I was going to puke, the site of that with the blood? no thanks!

I pray that McKenna is not forever scarred by the medical history that she has had this far. I pray that this is just a small stepping stone in the right direction to getting Mickey on board for eating orally and off this feeding tube. I pray that McKenna uses these stories, these blogs, the tears shed for her, the prayers lifted on her behalf, the challenges thrown her way...I pray she uses it all for the Glory of God and one day we will look back and hardly remember the retching, puking, late nights, early mornings, fights, lack of sleep, nightmares, battles with food and drinks, etc.

Anxiously waiting for Daddy and Mickey to come back upstairs. They say this button is a good size bigger and sticks out a lot further from the stomach. Nervous about that. Nervous she will get it caught or snagged on something. Nervous she won't tolerate the J feeds or that she will tolerate them so well that they make us do 24 hour feeds. Worried about how soon we can get to only night feeds, no long stretched out day feeds. Worried, fearful, scared. Just ready for McKenna to be healed, well and prospering.

Friday, May 6, 2011


Speak Lord, that's all you have to do. Speak it, and it will be done. That's my prayer today - speak that McKenna is healed, and she will be. I beg of you. Don't know what else to do, God. Please, please, please...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Potential Weaning

So my dad told me last week about a distant relative's son that retched and puked so much the enamel on his teeth was warn away, and he had a feeding button. I was shocked and obviously wanted to know more because it seems like whenever I do research to try to find solutions for McKenna nobody has the same problem we do, or nobody has solutions. Not only that but I can't find a support group which is totally what I could use right now, a shoulder to cry on that is going through what we are going through.

I was further in awe when my dad told me about Jack, the little boy, being weaned off the feeding tube. He no longer retches and is eating 100% feeding tube. Can't even imagine that. So I emailed Krista asking if I can call and ask her a million questions and she was so helpful to send me a blog and two web sites along with details on the weaning process at home. I am dying and eager to start this weaning process, but planning to wait until we go to Chicago and do the swallow study and make sure that they are okay with us moving forward with a drastic approach like this.

Basically you take a week to decrease tube feeds and by day 6 you are off tube feeds completely. Babies lose average of 6% weight which means McKenna would lose about 1 1/2 lbs and they will allow baby to lose up to 10% but anything over that they make you get back on the feeding tube.

So yesterday I started doing more research, looking at blogs, watching youtube videos etc and it is so sad to see kids that can't eat that want to. They looked so confused and frustrated in the video and it made me question if I really will have the courage to go forward with this process. I want to try it but making McKenna go without food breaks my heart.

So, I am in prayer. We would like to wait to do it until the beginning of March. Who are we kidding, would be easiest to do it when daddy is out of town because he stresses so much about this stuff, but he won't be gone for several months so I am just praying that God give me direction and if this is something we are suppose to do that Kyle would be on board and we would start this approach by beginning of March.

In the mean time, I am giving McKenna cheerios throughout the day. She spits them out, chews them up and spits them out or just throws them, but she needs to be okay with playing with food, or more so IIII need to be okay with her playing. Also I have not really orally fed her for two days. I always give her purees but she doesn't like babyfood and it is so routine, so I am trying more of the weaning approach. Giving her solids like string cheese, crackers, cereal, pizza, etc and letting her play with it and put it in her mouth and chew it and spit it, etc. Hope doing this doesn't set her backward, but honestly we need to try something different at this point, so I am doing this, and giving her a sippy cup all day long to carry around with her. She took multiple drinks of water from it today and even took drinks from a play teacup. I was in tears. So grateful.

I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like when McKenna starts eating again. So many things we take for grantit, but I will be so grateful for my daughter not having to retch all day long, not waking up to retching, not sitting outside her bedroom during nap time until she falls asleep to make sure she doesn't retch, getting to go to church and put the kids in nursery, not having to send her to a special education classroom because of the retching and feeding tube, both kids getting to go to pre-school, mommy going out with friends before 7 pm because daddy would be able to feed both kids, going on playdates or running errands without scheduling it around a 2 1/2 hour return home to tube and oral feed at same time, not cleaning up puke from carseat every week, not changing 4 plus outfits on McKenna everyday from puke, not having to run laundry loads daily because of spit cloths smelling up the house every night, not having to stack up on carpet cleaner because of the puke...the list could go on and on...yes will be more convenient for me, but more importantly will be so good for McKenna. NO more painful retching, no more painful tube changes or cleanings or possible tearing it out, or risk of infections or fear of her getting sick because she is more at risk and suffers more from gagging/puking, no more sore throat and erroded esophagus from retching...please Lord, let this be a possible answer for us.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Breathe...just breathe. Eventually if I say it enough times, will it allow me to gasp a big enough breath to get to the next one? Starting to feel like we can't catch a break. Well, have felt that way for a while, but then my daughter started walking. What a joy, a blessing, a miracle and answer to prayer...but of course it is followed by band news.

Three weeks ago McKenna started walking. A week after she started, Jean, our PT with Myer Center mentioned McKenna may needed braces to help her legs/feet straighten out. She thought we should just do exercises (tip toes and turning her foot on its side) for six months to see if we could avoid them. Today our PT with First Steps, Tara, confirmed that McKenna needs the braces and she doesn't think we should wait.

My heart breaks for McKenna. While these aren't long thick metal braces, or ones that go clear up to her knees, they are still braces - one more thing that she has to go through, one more thing she has to endure and has to have "fixed".

Grateful that McKenna's feet will be fixed through these braces. Grateful there is an answer and we won't be left wondering what to do or what's wrong. Grateful that she will only have to wear them for a few years. But if I am being honest my heart is aching and the thought of her having these put on everyday and the thought of one more thing she has to work on and one more delay she will have to conquer. Life isn't easy, I get that. But come on...can't ANYTHING be easy for her?

Discouraged, sad, frustrated, angry, feeling helpless and hurting for my little one. Ready God!!! We are ready...please, cut her a break! Let our trip to IL in a few weeks give answers to the retching. Make it so she can start eating orally or drinking her Pediasure orally at least. Let the braces be ordered and let them work quickly so she won't even require a size larger in six months. Help her to start speaking. And teach us what it is that you are trying to show us through all this, because I truly can't understand why else she is going through this other than to teach us something.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Theeeee Smartest Little Boy

I truly think I have the smarted little boy in the world. He is so much fun to watch explore and learn. He loves his books and is always eager to go pick out a new one from the office to have daddy read to him. He points and the pictures and tells you what things are or the colors or asks, "what's that" only to follow it up with telling you what something is.

This week I have been wearing my Evangel University sweatshirt and Keaton points at each letter and tells me what they are. We have a Dr Seuss ABC book and he goes through and can identify almost every letter. He has a numbers puzzle and can tell you what numbers he is putting in the puzzle. He loves to color and stack and count and sing. He can tell you most of Jack and Jill, Twinkle Twinkle, Row your boat and several others.

And my favorite new thing he does is points and babies and calls them baby Jesus. He got this from the manger. Grandma would point and say baby Jesus so he now relates all babies as being baby jesus. So cute. Can't wait to see what the Lord does with this knowledge he so quickly is gainign and how he will use it to further HIS Kingdom.

She's Walking

Finally mommy can take a breath. McKenna is walking. Over a month ago McKenna had taken steps for our PT, Tara, and was walking room to room without holding on to anything. I was the proudest mommy ever but within an hour of the therapist leaving McKenna stopped walking and since then has required the walker to move around or insists on crawling. It has been so discouraging and nerve racking watching and hoping that she will walk.

Then last week I decided I needed to really start investing more time in getting her to walk. We were going to be seeing the PT at Myer Center, Gene, in two days and McKenna had not made progress since her last visit several weeks prior. I held McKenna by the thighs with her throwing her body, screaming and reaching out to grab onto anythign she could touch but within five or ten minutes she did it...she took a step without holding on to anything, and then another, and then another...and today, almost a week later McKenna is walking. Yes she still likes her walker and holding to the table, but you give a loud cheer and she lets go and claps for herself and walks. I am so grateful for this huge milestone. She is 21 months old and finally walking without holding on to anything. Thank you God.

McKenna is also starting to attempt talking more. She now says Up, Help, and bubble. She is attempting to mimick words you say and if you refuse to answer or acknowledge her request until she says a word she will at least try to say it. This week she has started saying Uh Oh when she drops something, and she says apple and we are working on getting her to say this or that when she is pointing rather than the grunting and loud screaming she does.

McKenna completely stopped taking bites and drinks for multiple days. She would fuss and scream if you even attempted to feed her. This was due to the new direction and changes made by the Chicago team. So we have gone back a few steps and are now feeding her how we were originally because the new way obviously wasn't working.

We go to Chicago in a few weeks and I am just hoping and praying that God will give McKenna relief from the retching and that will allow her to eat/drink orally. Please God, please, please, please.