Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Breathe...just breathe. Eventually if I say it enough times, will it allow me to gasp a big enough breath to get to the next one? Starting to feel like we can't catch a break. Well, have felt that way for a while, but then my daughter started walking. What a joy, a blessing, a miracle and answer to prayer...but of course it is followed by band news.

Three weeks ago McKenna started walking. A week after she started, Jean, our PT with Myer Center mentioned McKenna may needed braces to help her legs/feet straighten out. She thought we should just do exercises (tip toes and turning her foot on its side) for six months to see if we could avoid them. Today our PT with First Steps, Tara, confirmed that McKenna needs the braces and she doesn't think we should wait.

My heart breaks for McKenna. While these aren't long thick metal braces, or ones that go clear up to her knees, they are still braces - one more thing that she has to go through, one more thing she has to endure and has to have "fixed".

Grateful that McKenna's feet will be fixed through these braces. Grateful there is an answer and we won't be left wondering what to do or what's wrong. Grateful that she will only have to wear them for a few years. But if I am being honest my heart is aching and the thought of her having these put on everyday and the thought of one more thing she has to work on and one more delay she will have to conquer. Life isn't easy, I get that. But come on...can't ANYTHING be easy for her?

Discouraged, sad, frustrated, angry, feeling helpless and hurting for my little one. Ready God!!! We are ready...please, cut her a break! Let our trip to IL in a few weeks give answers to the retching. Make it so she can start eating orally or drinking her Pediasure orally at least. Let the braces be ordered and let them work quickly so she won't even require a size larger in six months. Help her to start speaking. And teach us what it is that you are trying to show us through all this, because I truly can't understand why else she is going through this other than to teach us something.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Theeeee Smartest Little Boy

I truly think I have the smarted little boy in the world. He is so much fun to watch explore and learn. He loves his books and is always eager to go pick out a new one from the office to have daddy read to him. He points and the pictures and tells you what things are or the colors or asks, "what's that" only to follow it up with telling you what something is.

This week I have been wearing my Evangel University sweatshirt and Keaton points at each letter and tells me what they are. We have a Dr Seuss ABC book and he goes through and can identify almost every letter. He has a numbers puzzle and can tell you what numbers he is putting in the puzzle. He loves to color and stack and count and sing. He can tell you most of Jack and Jill, Twinkle Twinkle, Row your boat and several others.

And my favorite new thing he does is points and babies and calls them baby Jesus. He got this from the manger. Grandma would point and say baby Jesus so he now relates all babies as being baby jesus. So cute. Can't wait to see what the Lord does with this knowledge he so quickly is gainign and how he will use it to further HIS Kingdom.

She's Walking

Finally mommy can take a breath. McKenna is walking. Over a month ago McKenna had taken steps for our PT, Tara, and was walking room to room without holding on to anything. I was the proudest mommy ever but within an hour of the therapist leaving McKenna stopped walking and since then has required the walker to move around or insists on crawling. It has been so discouraging and nerve racking watching and hoping that she will walk.

Then last week I decided I needed to really start investing more time in getting her to walk. We were going to be seeing the PT at Myer Center, Gene, in two days and McKenna had not made progress since her last visit several weeks prior. I held McKenna by the thighs with her throwing her body, screaming and reaching out to grab onto anythign she could touch but within five or ten minutes she did it...she took a step without holding on to anything, and then another, and then another...and today, almost a week later McKenna is walking. Yes she still likes her walker and holding to the table, but you give a loud cheer and she lets go and claps for herself and walks. I am so grateful for this huge milestone. She is 21 months old and finally walking without holding on to anything. Thank you God.

McKenna is also starting to attempt talking more. She now says Up, Help, and bubble. She is attempting to mimick words you say and if you refuse to answer or acknowledge her request until she says a word she will at least try to say it. This week she has started saying Uh Oh when she drops something, and she says apple and we are working on getting her to say this or that when she is pointing rather than the grunting and loud screaming she does.

McKenna completely stopped taking bites and drinks for multiple days. She would fuss and scream if you even attempted to feed her. This was due to the new direction and changes made by the Chicago team. So we have gone back a few steps and are now feeding her how we were originally because the new way obviously wasn't working.

We go to Chicago in a few weeks and I am just hoping and praying that God will give McKenna relief from the retching and that will allow her to eat/drink orally. Please God, please, please, please.