Wednesday, October 28, 2009


McKenna, you are the sweetest most gentle baby I have ever known. You have the most amazing smile that lights up the room and is contagious. You crinkle your nose and stick out your tongue half the time when smiling and you look like you will bust out into laughter at any moment. It's adorable.

You are great at laughing. You don't talk much, but if you find something funny you don't hold back. Usually pulling your arms out of sleeves or socks off the feet is all it takes to get you going.

You are just learning to make noises. You love spitting and making "raspberries" with your mouth. And your talking is more of a grunting or groaning. Daddy always thinks you are crying when you talk because it sounds very similiar to your fussing.

You hate dirty diapers and you are sure to let us know when you need to be changed. You actually have a gagging episode half the time if you poop. Not sure why, but it is helpful either way.

You love to lay on your left side. We try sleeping you or laying you on your back for play time but you roll to your side almost immediately. And you don't really move around too much once on your side. You are content to just lay and observe.

You are really good with a rattle, especially if it is in your right hand. There is no doubt you will be right handed.

You love your Pooh Blanket Bear. You try shoving it in your mouth and get really excited when you see it. You love soft blankets too or anything cuddly.

You are the best cuddler. You don't care who holds you, as long as you are held. You lay your head on mommy's chest and fall asleep instantly. You just started clinging to clothing too when being held so you rest your head, but hold on for dear life with your hands. It's so cute.

You have such a sweet spirit. We are so blessed to have you as a daughter and thank God daily for you.


Keaton, wow you are rolling like crazy. You started rolling yesterday from your back to tummy and now refuse to be on your back but fuss if you are on your belly more than two minutes. You are active and love to stand and get irritated when we aren't holding your hands to help you stand. And if you aren't standing or rolling you will settle for sitting up (with support because you can't do it on your own yet).

You are a morning baby and love for mommy and daddy to come and get you out of the crib. You wait patiently every morning for us to come in. Sometimes we don't even realize you are awake because you are so quiet and just enjoy sucking your thumb while you wait. But once the morning starts you don't want to stop.

You hate nap time and scream the second you hit the bed. We throw a pacifier in your mouth and one in each hand hoping that will give you peace but it usually doesn't do any good because your thumb is really what you want and you would prefer to be held to fall asleep.

You are a great cuddler when tired or after eating, but only if it's your idea. You don't like to be held down, so mommy shoving your head on her shoulder to get hugs makes you really mad. You love story time and try to turn the pages yourself. You love music and you put everything in your mouth that you see. You are a true blessing and delight and we are so grateful to have you as our son.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Surgery Has Begun

The surgery has begun. The nurse came in the room at 6:45 am and told me they were on their way to get her. Tears filled my eyes as I started thinking about the pain she is going to be in from the surgery, the difficulty comforting her since I won't be able to lay her chest to chest for a week or two, the long recovery road she has in front of her. I rushed over, grabbed my purse and pick my baby girl up into my arms and laid her head on my chest. Swaying side to side I said my prayers and sang worship songs over her.

An hour past and they still hadn't come to get her. By then my emotions had died down a bit. I am eager for this procedure to be complete and for us to move forward in life as a healthy family. Excited for the possibility of my baby girl not spitting up or choking every time she eats and getting heart monitor off. Excited for my daughter to be a baby and feel well.

Walking down to the operating room all the nurses were eweing and ahhing over McKenna and how gorgeous she is and how incredible her eyes are. We got into the pre-surgery room and the nurses flocked to her and just babbled on and on about her and fought over who could be in recovery with her. Makes a mom happy and feel good, that's for sure! I know that she is going to be in pain but at least she will be loved on when we can't be with her in there.

Anxious to see my baby girl, pick her up and love on her.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

McKenna's Surgery

It's day ten in the hospital and things just seem to get harder here. I feel so sad watching my little girl suffer like she has. Her body tightens up, her face goes red, her eyes tear and then the loud violent noise of gagging occurs. It's heartbreaking! And in two days she will have the fundo surgery and will have to suffer the pain of her stomach being cut open and recovering from that. The best way to comfort a baby is to put them on your chest, but I know she will be in too much pain for that since that would require her tummy to be against mine. And she is getting the feeding button and that will be poking out of her tummy so that will cause pain too.

Kyle and I keep reviewing the procedure and trying to think of alternatives but we know there are no other options or we would do them. Meds, formula switching, spacing out feedings...none of it helps. She continues to vomit and to be in pain.

McKenna looks really sad today. Not sure if she is just exhausted or if she knows that something is about to happen. Or maybe she is just mad at me. Kyle, Grandma D and Keaton came to visit for the weekend and I keep going to the hotel so I can nurse Keaton. She could just be upset that I keep leaving.

All the nurses in the hospital go crazy for her. If they have watched McKenna even one shift they always come and visit during other shifts and try to get her to smile, which really doesn't take much - she is a super happy baby. They all comment on how gorgeous she is and adorable, and how amazing her eyes are. She really does have the most amazing blue eyes. Even the doctors comment on how sweet she is during their daily rounds.

Keaton is at the hotel with Grandma and Kyle and McKenna and I are getting ready for bed. I go through crazy withdraws being away from Keaton. I miss him so much. He is so cute and happy all the time and I miss hearing his laugh and cooing. And I miss seeing him smile with his mouth wide open and eyes squinting. He has to be the sweetest little boy.

Excited for this week to be over. Want to be a family again with us all together under the same roof and McKenna healthy and well. Praying that this procedure is the answer and doesn't end up causing more complications or problems in the end.