McKenna's Surgery

It's day ten in the hospital and things just seem to get harder here. I feel so sad watching my little girl suffer like she has. Her body tightens up, her face goes red, her eyes tear and then the loud violent noise of gagging occurs. It's heartbreaking! And in two days she will have the fundo surgery and will have to suffer the pain of her stomach being cut open and recovering from that. The best way to comfort a baby is to put them on your chest, but I know she will be in too much pain for that since that would require her tummy to be against mine. And she is getting the feeding button and that will be poking out of her tummy so that will cause pain too.

Kyle and I keep reviewing the procedure and trying to think of alternatives but we know there are no other options or we would do them. Meds, formula switching, spacing out feedings...none of it helps. She continues to vomit and to be in pain.

McKenna looks really sad today. Not sure if she is just exhausted or if she knows that something is about to happen. Or maybe she is just mad at me. Kyle, Grandma D and Keaton came to visit for the weekend and I keep going to the hotel so I can nurse Keaton. She could just be upset that I keep leaving.

All the nurses in the hospital go crazy for her. If they have watched McKenna even one shift they always come and visit during other shifts and try to get her to smile, which really doesn't take much - she is a super happy baby. They all comment on how gorgeous she is and adorable, and how amazing her eyes are. She really does have the most amazing blue eyes. Even the doctors comment on how sweet she is during their daily rounds.

Keaton is at the hotel with Grandma and Kyle and McKenna and I are getting ready for bed. I go through crazy withdraws being away from Keaton. I miss him so much. He is so cute and happy all the time and I miss hearing his laugh and cooing. And I miss seeing him smile with his mouth wide open and eyes squinting. He has to be the sweetest little boy.

Excited for this week to be over. Want to be a family again with us all together under the same roof and McKenna healthy and well. Praying that this procedure is the answer and doesn't end up causing more complications or problems in the end.