It's day ten in the hospital and things just seem to get harder here. I feel so sad watching my little girl suffer like she has. Her body tightens up, her face goes red, her eyes tear and then the loud violent noise of gagging occurs. It's heartbreaking! And in two days she will have the fundo surgery and will have to suffer the pain of her stomach being cut open and recovering from that. The best way to comfort a baby is to put them on your chest, but I know she will be in too much pain for that since that would require her tummy to be against mine. And she is getting the feeding button and that will be poking out of her tummy so that will cause pain too.
Kyle and I keep reviewing the procedure and trying to think of alternatives but we know there are no other options or we would do them. Meds, formula switching, spacing out feedings...none of it helps. She continues to vomit and to be in pain.
McKenna looks really sad today. Not sure if she is just exhausted or if she knows that something is about to happen. Or maybe she is just mad at me. Kyle, Grandma D and Keaton came to visit for the weekend and I keep going to the hotel so I can nurse Keaton. She could just be upset that I keep leaving.
All the nurses in the hospital go crazy for her. If they have watched McKenna even one shift they always come and visit during other shifts and try to get her to smile, which really doesn't take much - she is a super happy baby. They all comment on how gorgeous she is and adorable, and how amazing her eyes are. She really does have the most amazing blue eyes. Even the doctors comment on how sweet she is during their daily rounds.
Keaton is at the hotel with Grandma and Kyle and McKenna and I are getting ready for bed. I go through crazy withdraws being away from Keaton. I miss him so much. He is so cute and happy all the time and I miss hearing his laugh and cooing. And I miss seeing him smile with his mouth wide open and eyes squinting. He has to be the sweetest little boy.
Excited for this week to be over. Want to be a family again with us all together under the same roof and McKenna healthy and well. Praying that this procedure is the answer and doesn't end up causing more complications or problems in the end.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Baby Girl in Hospital Again
It is so sad to see little McKenna in the hospital crying in pain. Who knew that acid reflux could cause such severe pain and problems. Looks like surgery will be necessary to fix it but we are praying for a miracle.
McKenna is starting to coo a little bit here and there, and she LOVES to blow bubbles with her mouth. She is a very smiley baby and loves attention. She looks like she is on the verge of laughing out loud most of the time. She loves to be held and cuddled, but this usually causes her to spit up, so we don't get to cuddle as much as we would like. Hoping if she does the surgery she is still a cuddler and we can do that more.
Daddy is bringing Keaton to Kansas City since we haven't seen him since Wednesday (brought McKenna to KC Thursday morning). Can't wait to give him kisses and hugs and love on my son. He is growing up so fast and laughing and cooing like crazy and talking more and more so being away from him has been so hard. So excited to see him. Curious if he is making new noises or if he even notices McKenna and I are gone.
House has been really stressful lately. We are eager for McKenna to get better and for us to be able to play the role of normal parents without continually having to worry about health issues with the babies. If she does have to surgery we are hopeful that this will be the only one she ever has to do and hoping that it will be as easy as doing a surgery and then being healthy from here on out.
McKenna is starting to coo a little bit here and there, and she LOVES to blow bubbles with her mouth. She is a very smiley baby and loves attention. She looks like she is on the verge of laughing out loud most of the time. She loves to be held and cuddled, but this usually causes her to spit up, so we don't get to cuddle as much as we would like. Hoping if she does the surgery she is still a cuddler and we can do that more.
Daddy is bringing Keaton to Kansas City since we haven't seen him since Wednesday (brought McKenna to KC Thursday morning). Can't wait to give him kisses and hugs and love on my son. He is growing up so fast and laughing and cooing like crazy and talking more and more so being away from him has been so hard. So excited to see him. Curious if he is making new noises or if he even notices McKenna and I are gone.
House has been really stressful lately. We are eager for McKenna to get better and for us to be able to play the role of normal parents without continually having to worry about health issues with the babies. If she does have to surgery we are hopeful that this will be the only one she ever has to do and hoping that it will be as easy as doing a surgery and then being healthy from here on out.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thankful
While reading a friend's blog today was reminded to count my blessings rather than concentrate on the difficulties of life. Kyle and I have been struggling because of McKenna's health seems to be deteriating before our eyes. We are heart broken she has the tube in her nose and seems like she is in so much pain, but among it all we need to remember to countour blessings.
Thank you Lord for a roof over our heads, that Kyle has a job, that I am able to stay home with our babies, that we have a good marriage, that we have an amazing support group of friends and family, that we have our health, that we are blessed with two gorgeous children and that they have made it through so much, and for their site, hearing, touch, tastes and all the senses they are blessed with.
Thank you that we have today and the opportunity to bless your name. Thank you for doctors and nurses that are doing their best to help, for food on our plates every night, for all the people that have blessed and helped us or offered to, for your undying love and that today we are able to do the best we can.
Our prayer is that we can continue to see Jesus through these hard times and keep our focus on him.
Thank you Lord for a roof over our heads, that Kyle has a job, that I am able to stay home with our babies, that we have a good marriage, that we have an amazing support group of friends and family, that we have our health, that we are blessed with two gorgeous children and that they have made it through so much, and for their site, hearing, touch, tastes and all the senses they are blessed with.
Thank you that we have today and the opportunity to bless your name. Thank you for doctors and nurses that are doing their best to help, for food on our plates every night, for all the people that have blessed and helped us or offered to, for your undying love and that today we are able to do the best we can.
Our prayer is that we can continue to see Jesus through these hard times and keep our focus on him.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Rolled Over
Woo hoo...Keaton rolled over today on his own. Has been a while since he has done that, so I was super excited when I turned around for a second and looked back only to find that he had rolled over.
Keaton is a delight. He is full of smiles, laughs a lot and talks none stop. He is adorable and interactive. Every time I see him my heart melts at what a little angel Keaton is and how blessed I am to have a son. Can't wait to see what he will do for a living, what he will be like when he grows up, who he will marry, where he will live...the whole works.
McKenna is really improving on tummy time. She is lifting her head more and holding it up for longer periods of time. She is starting to coo a little bit when she sees Keaton, but is still a pretty quiet baby unless you make her mad. Wow does she have a scream then.
She has the most incredible smile and loves it when we say "boop" and touch her nose. She loves to be held and talked to. She stares at Keaton and is eager to get his attention. She is content most of the time and very laid back. What a blessing to have a daughter that is so sweet, loving and wonderful from the start. I love waking her up to see her smile and she makes me laugh all the time. I never knew how funny a baby could be.
Motherhood has been more amazing than I could have ever imagined. Waking up each morning and hearing or seeing the babies makes me smile ear to ear and makes life feel more complete. We are truly blessed.
Keaton is a delight. He is full of smiles, laughs a lot and talks none stop. He is adorable and interactive. Every time I see him my heart melts at what a little angel Keaton is and how blessed I am to have a son. Can't wait to see what he will do for a living, what he will be like when he grows up, who he will marry, where he will live...the whole works.
McKenna is really improving on tummy time. She is lifting her head more and holding it up for longer periods of time. She is starting to coo a little bit when she sees Keaton, but is still a pretty quiet baby unless you make her mad. Wow does she have a scream then.
She has the most incredible smile and loves it when we say "boop" and touch her nose. She loves to be held and talked to. She stares at Keaton and is eager to get his attention. She is content most of the time and very laid back. What a blessing to have a daughter that is so sweet, loving and wonderful from the start. I love waking her up to see her smile and she makes me laugh all the time. I never knew how funny a baby could be.
Motherhood has been more amazing than I could have ever imagined. Waking up each morning and hearing or seeing the babies makes me smile ear to ear and makes life feel more complete. We are truly blessed.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Making Progress in Areas, But Falling in Others.
Great news, McKenna weighed 6 lb 14.5 oz Friday. This is a huge weight gain and we are really excited about it. Hopefully she will keep up with the gaining. The nurse is planning to come out once more and if she has another huge gain we won't need her coming here any more. Of course with as paranoid and worried as we are we will still probably take her in once a week for weight checks if nurse doesn't come here.
McKenna went eight days without a heart rate drop and then this morning she had one during a feeding. Nothing more scary then seeing your child turn dusky colored and hearing an alarm sound. They are planning to take away the monitor mid-week assuming she doesn't have any heart rate drops outside of feedings. Scary to think that they will take it away since the one she did have was during a feeding. Grateful for the eight days she went without drops and praying the one this morning was the last one.
Both babies are still having choking episodes during the night. Setting them up in car seats has worked decent but not well enough to prevent the choking. Doctor put Keaton on medicine for the acid reflux and if nothing else it seems to have calmed him a bit more after his feedings - not as many screaming fits following eating. They didn't put McKenna on the medicine because she really isn't fussy, but spits up a lot and the medicine doesn't help that part of reflux they say.
Keaton is sure gaining weight. Eating 4 1/2 ounces every three hours and then at night will go with a 4-6 hour shift or two. What a blessing that has been. We were so thrilled when he went the six hours without waking but that has only happened once. Working on increasing that. He is almost growing out of his newborn size clothes though and in the next week or so should be getting closer to wearing the 0-3 mos clothes.
McKenna is getting bigger too - obviously with her weight gain. Tricky part for her is that she is almost 20 inches long but super petite, so the clothes that fit her length don't fit her width. Either way she has graduated from preemies this week and finally able to wear the adorable newborn gear.
First Steps came this week and worked with McKenna. They will work with Keaton their next visit. She thought McKenna was doing better with feedings and seemed more alert in general. The thing we will be working with her on during the next month is getting her to turn her head the other direction (she always turns it to the left) so she doesn't get stiff neck and more tummy time (2-3 times a day only so she doesn't burn too many calories).
Keaton always turns his head to the left, so we need to start getting him to turn his head to the right more. We put the babies on different sides of bassinett in each room to encourage them to look other direction. Works for McKenna but not really for Keaton yet. So, we are encouraging his head to the right to look at his sister more. We are also working on more tummy time (he rolled over twice earlier this week), more awake time throughout the day and helping him find his hands with wrist rattles. Will be fun to see what First Steps tells us to do with him to help him advance.
Had the babies been born at their due date they would be a month old now. Can hardly believe they are 3 1/2 months old. We are so blessed and are sure to count our blessing daily.
Please keep the family in your prayers. Pray for their overall health (McKenna was sick this week), McKenna's heart rate drops to go away and her feedings to improve and for growth. Pray for Keaton's continued growth and for his acid reflux to go away.
McKenna went eight days without a heart rate drop and then this morning she had one during a feeding. Nothing more scary then seeing your child turn dusky colored and hearing an alarm sound. They are planning to take away the monitor mid-week assuming she doesn't have any heart rate drops outside of feedings. Scary to think that they will take it away since the one she did have was during a feeding. Grateful for the eight days she went without drops and praying the one this morning was the last one.
Both babies are still having choking episodes during the night. Setting them up in car seats has worked decent but not well enough to prevent the choking. Doctor put Keaton on medicine for the acid reflux and if nothing else it seems to have calmed him a bit more after his feedings - not as many screaming fits following eating. They didn't put McKenna on the medicine because she really isn't fussy, but spits up a lot and the medicine doesn't help that part of reflux they say.
Keaton is sure gaining weight. Eating 4 1/2 ounces every three hours and then at night will go with a 4-6 hour shift or two. What a blessing that has been. We were so thrilled when he went the six hours without waking but that has only happened once. Working on increasing that. He is almost growing out of his newborn size clothes though and in the next week or so should be getting closer to wearing the 0-3 mos clothes.
McKenna is getting bigger too - obviously with her weight gain. Tricky part for her is that she is almost 20 inches long but super petite, so the clothes that fit her length don't fit her width. Either way she has graduated from preemies this week and finally able to wear the adorable newborn gear.
First Steps came this week and worked with McKenna. They will work with Keaton their next visit. She thought McKenna was doing better with feedings and seemed more alert in general. The thing we will be working with her on during the next month is getting her to turn her head the other direction (she always turns it to the left) so she doesn't get stiff neck and more tummy time (2-3 times a day only so she doesn't burn too many calories).
Keaton always turns his head to the left, so we need to start getting him to turn his head to the right more. We put the babies on different sides of bassinett in each room to encourage them to look other direction. Works for McKenna but not really for Keaton yet. So, we are encouraging his head to the right to look at his sister more. We are also working on more tummy time (he rolled over twice earlier this week), more awake time throughout the day and helping him find his hands with wrist rattles. Will be fun to see what First Steps tells us to do with him to help him advance.
Had the babies been born at their due date they would be a month old now. Can hardly believe they are 3 1/2 months old. We are so blessed and are sure to count our blessing daily.
Please keep the family in your prayers. Pray for their overall health (McKenna was sick this week), McKenna's heart rate drops to go away and her feedings to improve and for growth. Pray for Keaton's continued growth and for his acid reflux to go away.
Not Much to Update
Really isn't much to update everyone on. Nurse came to the house Friday and according to her scale McKenna had gained less than one ounce in four days. Seeing as how they want her to gain a MINIMUM of half an ounce a day, but really would like her to gain a full ounce daily, that wasn't good news. The other thing to consider though is she has a different scale than our doctor's office, so we are hoping the lack of weight gain is due to that. For now the nurse will come out once a week to check on her weight and any other concerns we have.
Both babies still seem to have reflux. We have been putting them in their car seats after feedings for thirty minute minimum for the past 24 hours to see if that will help. So far it hasn't really made much of a difference. If Keaton remains fussy after feedings they will put him on meds and the nurse is going to talk to the doctor again tonight because McKenna is still dry heaving even when sitting in her car seat. If they put her on meds for it then this will mean she is on iron, a vitamin, and reflux meds. That seems to me like a lot of meds for a young lady that is only 6 lb 1 oz.
First Steps (a developmental program) starts this Thursday. They are going to concentrate on helping McKenna with her feedings, helping both babies with their head shapes, helping Keaton's feet to not turn in so much, and teaching us baby massage. They will come twice a week for the time being and as they get older they may come more often depending on their needs. Currently it is just an occupational therapist coming, but with time this program could include a speech therapist, physical therapist and occupational therapist. They will address any developmental concerns we have as we go along. Really excited about this program and hoping it helps the babies catch up to their age quickly.
Thanks everyone for the continued prayers. Will update you Friday with the weight gain. Hope you are all doing well.
Both babies still seem to have reflux. We have been putting them in their car seats after feedings for thirty minute minimum for the past 24 hours to see if that will help. So far it hasn't really made much of a difference. If Keaton remains fussy after feedings they will put him on meds and the nurse is going to talk to the doctor again tonight because McKenna is still dry heaving even when sitting in her car seat. If they put her on meds for it then this will mean she is on iron, a vitamin, and reflux meds. That seems to me like a lot of meds for a young lady that is only 6 lb 1 oz.
First Steps (a developmental program) starts this Thursday. They are going to concentrate on helping McKenna with her feedings, helping both babies with their head shapes, helping Keaton's feet to not turn in so much, and teaching us baby massage. They will come twice a week for the time being and as they get older they may come more often depending on their needs. Currently it is just an occupational therapist coming, but with time this program could include a speech therapist, physical therapist and occupational therapist. They will address any developmental concerns we have as we go along. Really excited about this program and hoping it helps the babies catch up to their age quickly.
Thanks everyone for the continued prayers. Will update you Friday with the weight gain. Hope you are all doing well.
Weight Check
Got a call from doctor yesterday and they are concerned about McKenna's low weight gain. Because of this, they have arranged for a nurse to come out to the house a couple times a week to weigh her. Apparently taking her to doctor once or twice a week is burning too many calories so they would prefer to come out here. Also, since they don't want her around kids/babies, taking her to the doctor's office is putting her at a risk of getting sick, so no more trips to doctor until their four month check up in August. Of course that is assuminng that she DOES gain the necessary weight and doesn't show signs of needing more blood work.
If McKenna does not improve her eatings she will have to get a feeding tube. This is something Kyle and I would be trained on inserting and we would have to put the tube in after each feeding if she doesn't do a certain amount. Praying it doesn't get to this point.
Last night was rather difficult with McKenna's eating. She didn't meet her minimum for two of the feedings and struggled to wake up for the feedings too. She did a lot better this afteroon. I had to take off her clothes and feed her in just her diaper to get her eating, which in the past has not been okay because it burns too many calories for her to stay warm, but when she is struggling to eat even an ounce, I think it is probably better if she is warming her body and burning calories instead of burning calories she is not even taking into her body by not eating.
Keaton has been fussy off and on still. We have tried the gas drops, tiring him out, letting him sleep, holding him, not holding him...he just is requiring a lot of attention right now. If we hold him or sit holding the pacifier in his mouth for hours then he seems to be alright.
He is back to his eating every three hours at night. It was nice while the four hours between feedings lasted, but that was very short lived. Hopefully he will start back up on that agaiin soon...we are ready for him to sleep through the nights and going from three to two feedings a night really did help a lot.
Thanks for all the prayers everyone! We really appreciate them!
If McKenna does not improve her eatings she will have to get a feeding tube. This is something Kyle and I would be trained on inserting and we would have to put the tube in after each feeding if she doesn't do a certain amount. Praying it doesn't get to this point.
Last night was rather difficult with McKenna's eating. She didn't meet her minimum for two of the feedings and struggled to wake up for the feedings too. She did a lot better this afteroon. I had to take off her clothes and feed her in just her diaper to get her eating, which in the past has not been okay because it burns too many calories for her to stay warm, but when she is struggling to eat even an ounce, I think it is probably better if she is warming her body and burning calories instead of burning calories she is not even taking into her body by not eating.
Keaton has been fussy off and on still. We have tried the gas drops, tiring him out, letting him sleep, holding him, not holding him...he just is requiring a lot of attention right now. If we hold him or sit holding the pacifier in his mouth for hours then he seems to be alright.
He is back to his eating every three hours at night. It was nice while the four hours between feedings lasted, but that was very short lived. Hopefully he will start back up on that agaiin soon...we are ready for him to sleep through the nights and going from three to two feedings a night really did help a lot.
Thanks for all the prayers everyone! We really appreciate them!
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