Thursday, August 12, 2010

Not Any Stronger

Feel like as we face battles we grow and are strengthened but honestly I am at the breaking point and can't seem to pull myself back up. I want to cry everytime I see my daughter retch. The painful look on her face, watching her tighten her entire body and gasp for breaths between each gag, the feeling of her stomach tightening as the fights for each episode to end. And the entire time we can do nothing but sit and watch, oserve, talk her through it, act like it's not happening and pray that she will never have another.

The feeding is exhausting. She gets stuck in one place and can't push through and I don't know how to help her. Therapy does the same thing and has been doing the same thing basically since October which discourages me from wanting to take her anymore. But at the same time if I were to quit taking her I feel like that is me giving up. I want McKenna to know when she is older that I did everything possible to help her not have pain or discomfort and to help her have a normal life.

My 24 hours of being down as stretched out to be over a week. I am ready for you to heal her now, God. Please.

No comments: