Kindergarten Screening

A few weeks ago I received a public school magazine with an ad to sign the twins up for kindergarten screening. The ad was cut and stuck to the fridge and each day I see it and get anxious at the idea of sending our children to school, all day, away from mommy and daddy and our teachings, and into a world where I have little control. When the kids were signed up for pre-K last fall I had a lot of anxiety attacks and was so stressed about how I would handle two 5-hour days a week away from them. Unfortunately, I have grown dependent upon them being dependent upon me. Luckily, those two days are filled with running errands, shopping, cleaning, taking care of the house and family and me time. It is my only time that is just for me, and Kyle has been amazing at not making me fill that time with tasks and activities but just letting me do whatever I want. Kindergarten will be 7 hours (I think) away from mommy, and while the time will no doubt be filled quickly, I struggle at the thought of going from full-time mommy to full-time house wife with kids away. A person can only deep clean, grocery shop, cook and organize for so long before they go crazy. Today was a big day. I called to sign them up for the screening. No, it wasn't the actual screening. That is still two months away. But signing them up made it more of a reality they are indeed leaving me this fall for school. I took a deep breath when calling to sign them up and when talking to the woman on the phone I actually got a little excited. Keaton lovesssss pre-k. He counts down the days to go to school. When sick, he cries because he doesn't want to miss. McKenna doesn't love school, but she has begun adapting. She loves her Tuesday class because she knows after it is dance. A part of her anxiety with school is the routine. While it is twice a week, that does allow several days at home before going back, so by Tuesday she just wants to be with mommy again. Kindergarten will be good for her to see Monday through Friday she has school. My prayers will begin today that God leads them to the right classroom, with the right teacher and the right students and friends. I can't wait to hear about their first day of school and all the friends they will meet and the amazing things they will learn that mommy hasn't been able to teach them. The next few months will be dedicated to enjoying every minute with the kids before they start the journey of school for the next 12 plus years, and hopefully I will be able to convince myself this journey is not about me losing my role as stay at home mom, but rather the kids learning their role as student, friend and amazing kiddos outside, as well as inside of their home.

A new year

Can't believe 2014 is already here and the blogging has greatly decreased during the past twelve months. So here are a few key things missed: The twins are in pre-k at James River. Keaton loves school. He is very social, gets in trouble often for saying potty words (poop, bum bum, toot) and calling names (dilah pants - whatever that means, and diaper baby). I walk the kids to their classroom each morning and pick them up in their classroom each afternoon, although Keaton asks that I just drop him off and let him walk to the room himself. He knows all his letters and numbers (counts to 100) and can write them. He loves practicing addition and subtraction and sounding out letters to read. He can read short stories and knows a handful of site words in addition to sounding out the words. He loves school and projects and challenges. He is energetic, funny and aggressive in life. McKenna has gotten better with school. She only cries for a minute or two when dropped off at class. She refuses to walk to class herself and insists mommy walks her to the room, which in all honesty makes me feel good. She loves art! She always wants to paint, glue, cut, draw or do anything crafty. She has grown a bit more independent but is still pretty timid and cautious about life. She is starting to talk a little bit to the other kids in class, which is exciting to see. She can identify most of her upper case letters, a handful of her lower case letters, and she can identify most numbers 1-10 (except for 6 and 9). She is working on writing and can write a few letters now (x, s, t, o, m, n and a backward c). We are working on getting McKenna to write her name. Her teacher, Ms Amber, said McKenna does a great job holding her pencil. Both kids are left-handed. McKenna started dance class in January. She is learning some ballet, but mainly it is geared to just get kids moving. It is amazing the impact it seems to have had on McKenna's interaction with other kids. There are six girls in the class and though McKenna doesn't really talk at all, she does follow direction and then she will show us little things throughout the week that she has learned. It was suppose to be just a six week class, but they have changed it to a monthly thing so we will most likely keep her in the class at least until school is done. It's just 50 minutes every Tuesday after school. Keaton always wants to play the IPad and watch television. This past month, in an attempt to get out of the house and do something fun we went bowling at a small nasty old bowling alley in Nixa. It was great. Nobody was there, it was cheap, and it smelled like ashtrays. Unfortunately, as we were finishing our game Keaton fell while walking up the handicap ramp and hit his chin on the bowling ball just the right place. His chin busted open and we rushed him to urgent care. He got three stitches. He was so brave! He cried at first but I think it was scarier for mommy then Keaton. The kids have been sick a lot this winter. In November/December the kids were sick for 5 weeks straight with fevers over 100. It was exhausting and frustrating. We started them on JuicePlus and that seems to have helped quite a bit. We ran out two weeks ago of their new vitamin and of course they ended up getting sick again. Grateful to have a new order in and hoping they will be free of their viruses soon. This back-to-back sickness caused us to increase McKenna's tube feeds back to previous amount 330 ml (quantity given for the past two years). McKenna was admitted to the hospital for a week in December due to constipation. It seems to be a guarantee that she will get backed up at least once a year. Thanks to Go-lightly and Enemas, they cleaned her out. The nurses were kind and rewarded her with toys for her bravery, including an American Doll, which Mommy has put away for future playing since they are so expensive and nice. A dozen of other things no doubt have helped 2013 to be an exciting and eventful year, but those were the main ones during the past few months. Cheers to 2014, and all we have to look forward to learning and doing.

Down 100, and starting second decrease

A month ago, tomorrow, we decreased McKenna's tube feed by 100 calories. She has managed to maintain her weight and this past week even gained 2 oz. This is huge for McKenna! If we were stuck at this quantity of tube feed for a while I would be disappointed that it wasn't still decreasing, but it would still be improvement so I would be content. However, we aren't staying here. We are decreasing her tube feed by another 100 calories. I am so excited! Starting tomorrow, McKenna will be getting one box of formula instead of 1 1/2 that she was getting last month, or the 1 box plus 2 oz from this month. Gooooo McKenna Goooo!!! As always, my prayer is this trend continues. It is during flu season, so that is a bit worrisome but God is in control and knows the outcome before we even begin to reduce it again. So cheers to eventually being a tube free baby. Cheers to one day having her own room and a big girl bed. Cheers to growth and weight gains and a happy, healthy little girl.

A New Chapter

I admit it. I am a controlling, overbearing, codling mother. I want to always hold the twins - love on them, hug, kiss and smother them. They are my babies and I just can't seem to get enough time with them. I love their brains, and their thought processes. I love their humor, their attempts to dominate, their cuddling and their entire beings. They truly make life amazing and I will never be more blessed then I am right now. I have dreaded the day they start school because of separation anxiety - for me, not the twins. But I must admit it has been nice to know that twice a week, for a few hours every Tuesday and Thursday, I will have the opportunity to run errands, grocery shop without screaming, workout or have a cup of coffee with a friend. Keaton loves school! He has made two friends he talks about a lot - Payten and Logan. He is the class clown and struggles to listen to direction from the teacher because he is so wrapped up in making his friends laugh and in being silly. He is very smart and loves learning too. He comes home sharing scriptures they have taught him, or songs they worked on, or moves they learn in PE class. I love watching his passion for school. The only hard part is that he truly just wants to be silly and as a mother I want him to be well-behaved and respectful. Also, he is only 4 years old and already wants to walk to class by himself. He doesn't want mommy dropping him off or holding his hand to cross the street. McKenna has had quite the struggle with school. She is very bright and loves sharing what she learns, but she is my observer. She would prefer to sit back and watch what everyone does rather then be a part of class. She screams and cries every time I drop her off. She says, "I don't want to go to school. I just love you soooooo much." And if that doesn't melt a moms heart then she is probably without one. McKenna is very loving and my continual prayer for her is that God would bless her with a friend each year so she can grow and enjoy school. I don't want her to feel lonely or fearful in class. McKenna loves her teacher, Ms Amber, and says she is her best friend. She doesn't eat that well in school, but often comes home from school hungry. Her favorite part of school is music time and McK loves to scream out the songs at home.

Eating Trend

Oh Lord God, PLEASE let us me truly seeing improvement in little Mickey's eating! It's scary to think, post, speak anything positive because it usually goes downhill from there; but, I cross my fingers and say McKenna is still doing really well. We have remained on the same quantity of tube feeds, and speed for 19 months (almost 20) and it has been exhausting and challenging. My continual "debate" with Kyle is that McKenna is making improvements because her food choices have changed. She tries different foods, different textures, different temperatures, etc. His debate is that there is no improvement until her tube quantity decreases. Well, unfortunately her tube quantity has not decreased. However, we are going to Kansas City in July to meet with the clinic again to see what steps we should take next to get her off the tube. In the past few weeks she has gained half a pound - our goal is for her to gain that weight in a minimum of eight weeks, so looks like - in my opinion - she is ready for her tube feed to be decreased. God is good. God is faithful! God hears. Please Lord, hear our plea to get her off this tube.

Pnemonia

Wow, are we glad the past two weeks are behind us. It started with a simple tiny cough Sunday night, and the next day Keaton had a serious cough that didn't seem to stop. Took to doctor since he started getting a fever around 102 and found out he had the starts of pnemonia in his left lung. Keaton was so sick! His eyes looked like they were filled with puss, his temp was up to 104 for four days and maintained around 102 during the days. He wasn't really eating. Was drinking great, but would cough so hard he would puke. It was very scary and as a parent I am not sure we have ever felt so helpless. Within a few days McKenna got a fever of 100, which isn't high, but the last time she had a fever she had a seisure so we were very frightened knowing the possibilities of that occurring again. Her cough started within a day or two of the fever and the doctor said McKenna had Pnemonia in her left lunch as well, in the center part of it. Apparently that location causes extreme nausea so in addition to non stop coughing McKenna was dry heaving, not eating with her mouth, not really sleeping and her fever started to spike up to around 102. Three days on the Rx and McKenna started complaining of ear pain and was whimpering every time she coughed, so we took her back in. Her body was resisting the antibiotic and she had an ear infection. Keaton finished his meds yesterday. His fever is gone and cough minimal. It mainly only occrus when he is super active. McKenna is on day 5 of her new Rx. She is still hacking a lot, even when not overly active, so we are giving her an inhaler to help calm the cough, although it spikes her heart rate and makes her very energetic, and energetic kiddos equals increased coughing. I can't believe how difficult of a flu season this has been for the twins. While I understand they will need to build their immune systems, it is hard to watch them get sick THIS much, in just hte past few months. Since the beginning of December Keaton has been sick 4 or 5 times, with at least two of those being puking colds. McKenna I think has only been sick two or three times, and although I absolutely HATE the feeding tube, I do believe it is helping her to stay healthier because the vitamins in the formula she gets each night. Cheers to a new year, and a new season of healthy children.

Doesn't stop

Eventually I will look back at this blog and think, wow that's a lot of "quotes" from the kids, and they aren't really that funny. But for now, I just can't stop recording because the sayings don't stop. Keaton, "we're not suppose to say dirty words like poo poo and tootie. We are only suppose to say nice words, like I love you, and house decorating stuff, and God gives us everything we need." While eating chicken strips, Keaton said, "I like eating, but something I love even more than that is you, mom." I was going to the doctor to pick something up and McKenna was worried I was going to get bum bum medicine (enimas). Keaton said, "hospitals and doctors love giving bum bum medicine. It's their favorite idea." While checking out the presents under the tree, Keaton said, "these presents sure look dirty. We better unwrap so we can clean them." When told he can't open today he said, "we'll, okay, but I can open when I want to. I will wait until Christmas." On another note, this has been a fun week. We sewed blankets together on the sewing machine. McKenna made a butterfly one, Keaton a lightening McQueen cars one. The kids have been excited to look for Pheneous everyday. Especially McKenna. We have watched Christmas shows, played games like wack a mole, made Christmas crafts, had playdates and spent fun time together.